Can't get it out of my head

im struggling with everything, my boy took his own life at 22, and I can't stop thinking about it. I can't imagine what stupid frame of mind he was in and why oh why did he think that was his best option, god I miss him so much. everyday he is in the forefront of my mind. I've never felt grief like it, my mother died 3 weeks ago as well after a long illness, but the grief for my mum gets swallowed up somewhere in the grief for my son. I know its never going to get easier. I know I just have to cope and learn how to go on. I don't even really know why im typing into this little box , I guess its just the need to express something . is there anyone else out there the same?

So sorry you have lost your son and your mother. You are having a tough time. I know what you mean about learning to go on. Nothing seems to matter or mean anything does it? Why would it when our world has stopped and there are so many unanswered questions. My daughter's life too was lost pointlessly. It is such a waste and leaves such heartbreak.
I have found that counselling does help but of course it cannot be fixed. I don't know how we survive this but people say that they do in time.
Sending you hugs. Xxx

All of us out here are the same, in that we are united by grief at the loss, or impending loss, of loved ones.
Questioning why we start posting on the forum, asking what’s the point, doubting if it can possibly do any good in the face of our almost unbearable burden - many of us, myself included, thought the same thing.
The advice that I was given after my first post was along the lines of, “Well, OK, don’t post if you don’t want to, but keep reading.”
Here I am two months and more than 100 posts later, so at this stage I’d repeat that advice to you.
I wondered how reading about the losses and miseries of other people could help, sympathise as I might. What I am coming to realize is that the value of the forum is in learning how to start dealing with those afflictions. It’s a long journey that we’re on and none of us want to be here, but you aren’t alone, and we really want to help if we can, even though we realize that our words may seem clumsy and inadequate.

I keep on reliving the night I lost my beatiful 17 yr old girl. I get by in yhe day but nights i am haunted by visions, and i just cant sleep. Outside the world think i am coping but inside i feel a mess.