Hurting 2

I lost my husband in January 2019 and have no idea if I am coping or not. He would say come on look at the good things , family and friends . i miss him so much and pretend he will be home soon. he would say come on life is precious live every day. He spoke to everyone and his laugh was contagious. How do you carry on without your best friend/ how do you stop crying. Is there a life out there where you can smile again. Am I just stupid. I hear him all the time saying stop this you are fine. But I am so lonely, I hate weekends.I want to smile again.

In reply to moving

Hi. moving. Stupid!? Oh no, nothing whatever stupid about it. If you read the posts on the site you will see how others cope with the pain. Everyone copes in their own way, and so will you. Some things we get up to may make you smile, others may make you cry. Does it matter? Cry if you want, we all do and it's a release of emotions. Although guys are not supposed to cry I do. And very often still.
I lost my wife in November last and it still hurts. But I do see some light. They said it takes time and it does. But there is no time limit on grief any more than there is on how we do it. The process will go on like it or not, so I think we have to go with it. Resistance to emotions is harmful. Never try and 'go it alone'. There is no need to as this site demonstrates.
I believe there is a life out there where you can smile again. You will never forget, of course not, but the burden may be a little less difficult to bear.
Listen to your husband. What he is telling you is the truth. Take care.

I now understand the true meaning of you only understand when it happens to you. Just going on this site has been hard for me. I do not really like the internet but this is the only place where I have found people who are experiencing the same troubles. Smile and the world smiles with you is so true.I know how he will guide me as I find new ways to smile . Kind regards take care.

In reply to moving

Hi there. I lost my Brian in November and have a cry every day. I accept it as part of my grief, which is of course my love for him. My crying is my way of showing him my love. How do we carry on, you ask. I haven't worked that one out as yet. I take each day as it comes and do my best to make it worthwhile.
No your certainly not stupid. If you are then there are a lot of stupid people on this forum. (Sorry everyone, no offence meant).
I pray everyday that hope and happiness, will one day re-enter my life and I look forward to that day.
Today I called into the cemetery where his ashes are, I knelt on the ground crying and pouring my heart out to him. He listened and then I got up and went for a walk and on to our allotment plots and spent four hours working. From intense grief to my normality in a few minutes. I cope with it now as so many others have learnt to do.
I know what Brian would be saying to me. He would look up from whatever he is doing, probably being a bit impatient for being disturbed, with his reading glasses on the end of his nose and ask me why I'm making such a fuss and to get on with my life. I don't think he would have a clue about my heartbreak. Just before he died he told me to get married again as I had been such a good wife to him. I laughed at him. As if !!!!!!!.
Like so many others on this forum I write to him every evening. I tell him about my day and what I have been doing and how I have felt that day. Sometimes I tell him off for leaving me, other times I tell him how much I miss him. I always finish by saying how much I love him. Have you tried this.
I know that Brian is near and feel his presence sometimes. I believe he does come home from time to time. These thoughts help me anyway.
Take care and good luck
Pat