Losing mum to suicide

A couple of months ago my mum committed suicide, I was in the house the day it happened and we found her after she had took the tablets just barely conscious, she was rushed to hospital but she’d taken too much to save her. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself, I have so many unanswered questions and even though I’m surrounded by loved ones I feel so alone. Does it ever get any better? Will this ever get easier... I feel like I can’t talk to anyone or I’ll just cry and I don’t want to cry anymore...

Well, thats a lot to deal with, as well as a passing, u are looking for answers, that are so difficult to get. Im so sorry that this is ur situation, but the fact that u joined this forum means that ur like us, in a way. We want to feel ok and at least ur reaching out for help. It might not be much, but its something to have someone to vent to. Keep posting and venting and asking for people to listen. In our own way, i think thats all that we want.

My goodness Jacquelinesh98.
That is as much as anyone would want to bear, and you must be so shocked. In answer to your question, yes it does get better, or so I have found. But that may well be meaningless to you at present.
Now one thing is sure, and you can do with a little certainty in your life, we ALL on here know and understand. That's what this amazing site is about. Unloading without clichés or platitudes or judgement.
You want to cry, then do so. But I suggest only with those who understand. Others get embarrassed which is one of the causes of our loneliness. We feel isolated, like being alone on a desert island with not a sail in sight.
Few do really understand, and you have to be sure that who you share with knows. So here you are and what better place to be. Take heart, we are all in this together. Blessings.

Dear Jacqueline,
My heart breaks for you. My beautiful daughter also took her own life 17 months ago. She has two boys who are now 9 and 22.
I wish I could make things better for you because it is a struggle and some days are worse than others.
Be kind to yourself. Don't try to be brave and accept help. As the other lady said, we are all in this together. This site has been so helpful to me so try to keep posting.
Much love to you xxx