loss of my wife

43 years married missing her so much it hurts

Hi, mine was just short of 40 Years. I would never tar everyone with the same brush but for me personally it's the end of the road. I have always heard growing up the words Heaven and Hell, now I know what hell is like I'm totally inconsolable and look forward to my day of departure which can't come quick enough and to be reunited eternally with my one and only dearest wife. Life will never be the same on our own, God bless.

In reply to Bristles

Hi bristles I know after being 6 months without my Jane just how you feel I too feel the same way Jane was my wife my life and my only true friend she was the one behind me what ever we did my life is now full of regrets,guilt call it what you like regret that I worked long hours to make us financially sound leaving her on her own feeling as I do now(lonely)regret arriving at a&e 5 minutes after she passed away I followed ambulance in car hospital 10 miles away thinking she was just to be admitted as she had a lot of health troubles kidney disease,asthma,leg infections etc .
Guilt because they would not take one of my kidneys to keep her Alive (compatibility,my health,my age 69 I did not care what happened to me just so it would give her more life .
I feel guilty I am left in our house not my house that she craved for 33years we lived in tied cottages for that length of time moving 9 times in 43 years till we bought this house in 2008 she was so proud except on the days of her dialysis when she had 3 days 4hours at a time and had to leave it behind at the moment I hang on to that thought.
Also we have a little dog that I would not like to leave behind she is 3 years old doesn't take to people readily barks at them when they enter the house the whole time they are there even nephew and niece who have stayed here you may think that a dog is not important but to us she was ,she was Janes dog really she could even scent when Jane was on the road back from dialysis be it 12'oclock 1'oclock she would sit at the door or gate knowing Jane would soon be home,these are the things that are in my memories.I am waiting for that special day when I see Jane but at the moment have still to think what she would say.
I do not know what may console you at the moment I am hanging on to the day when I see her again as other people are Kind regards my friend until we see what's on the other side

Hello Metalmickey69
I can understand the trauma that you went through but nobody could appreciate the impact unless they were in your shoes, you have my sympathy. We are on the same page and think alike. I had a treble bypass over 26 years ago and at the time was over the moon to have my life but now I don't want to seem ungrateful but it means absolutely nothing to me now and you can guess where this is going so I'll stop right now. I have no desire to do anything whatsoever or to go anywhere. I have had an invite from a life long friend. (54 years) to stay with them in France but as long as there is breath in my body I will not set foot outside of my front door without my wife. Also a great friend of (32 years) invited me to Wales, it can never ever be an option. The only thing that I'm looking forward to is a six letter word, it begins with co and ends in, in, the middle two letters are the same. My life is nothing short of devastation and misery day after day the only peace I get is when I'm asleep. Enough said, God bless you all and give us the strength we need.

Incidentally, we were registered with the Kennel Club, and have bred British Bulldogs and Yorkies so love dogs. I had to have my last companion put to sleep 6 month's ago another heart breaker. Take care, B.