Lost sister just before Christmas

Hi everyone, my sister died following a very quick cancer diagnosis just before Christmas. She was in her early 50's. I am really struggling being sad on her behalf and my own grief. My emotions are very raw. Christmas was beyond difficult. I am just wondering about my physical symptoms as I have absolutely no energy and constant headache. This grief is using massive amounts of energy. Is this normal? Her funeral is this coming week so maybe that is making it worse. Thanks for any advice.

Hi Joe, I am very sorry for your loss of your sister whom you must miss so much. Grief can make you very sad and weary. If your headaches persist do see your GP. I lost my dear husband just nine months ago, and though I had been caring for him and thought I was reasonably fit, since he died, I've had occasions to consult my doctor a number of times, including for serious headaches, chest pains. One doctor said these ailments may have come on due to the grief over the loss of my husband. Your health is important to help you cope with your loss. Im not trying to turn this conversation into an ailment discussion, but I will say with prescribed medication my ailments gradually cleared up. It is early days for you in your grief. You will cope in time, look after your health, and take one step at a time in coping, be easy on yourself. With best wishes. Diedre

Thanks Deidre. Sorry for your loss too. Take care.

In reply to Jo1971

Dear Jo1971, How dreadfully sad to lose your. sister, and so close to Christmas, I am so sorry. I lost my younger sister 7 months ago, and Christmas & New Year was a painful and lonely time without my sister to share it with. My sister was around the age of yours, and also died of cancer, I agree that grief is exhausting and there are physical effects, Headaches, stomach upset, body pain and numerous other discomforts might arise after such a trauma. I have been experiencing them all, and more, since my beloved sister died. My life has become daily, constant emotional and physical pain. Grief assaults our entire being. Not to say one should not seek medical help if the symptoms persist or become worse. You must take care of yourself during this time of tremendous grief and loss. You will need any energy you have for the difficult road ahead. My thoughts will be with you as you face the funeral. and all the emotions involved. My life has not been the same since losing my sister, so I certainly relate to what you are going through. Please post again, and you can PM me as well. We support each other here, and this site is the place to come to in your time of need. Sending caring thoughts. Sister2

Hi Jo1971,
So sorry to read about your loss.
I lost my eldest sister on 7th December, also quickly to cancer after a very late diagnosis. My sister was older (70) but the pain is just the same. I empathise completely with what you have described. Real, physical pain - headache, tightness in the chest and throat, aches and pains all over. Plus feeling absolutely exhausted all the time. I think what you are feeling is normal. Grief takes a lot of energy and your body must have to compensate somehow. I don’t know if you work but I’m also finding the daily effort of being “on form” around others is so tiring. So much so that today I’ve decided to stay in bed (it’s Saturday). All I can say is try to be kind to yourself and rest when you can. The headaches will ease if you allow your body and mind to heal, one day at a time. Talking helps. I’m using this forum to ease my pain and I think knowing that others are experiencing the same physical and emotional symptoms does help a bit. I hope your pain starts to ease a little. X