weekends on your own after a bereavement


Its now been 22 weeks since Mike died and its hard.
I find it so lonely especially at weekends as I have no family and my friends are all
with their friends which is understandable.
I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself watching the tennis. I have been on my own all day and haven't seen a sole. I hate weekends, mind you weekdays aren't alot better these days. It such a lonely life. Is there anyone else out there who feels like me?

Oh yes, Benenden, I wrote on this topic on different threads, and found there are so many others on this site who also find Weekends especially hard. Weekdays I am at work, and often stay overtime so I do not have to go back to being alone with my thoughts.
I lost my Younger Sister to cancer, only a year ago. Both being single, working girls, we were each other's best friends and soul mates. Sunday was our day to catch up, go out and have fun, and just have "Sister Time". Now Sunday's are long, empty hours to fill, when all I want to do is be with her again. Even one of our long, chatty phone conversations would be a gift. I relate to friends being busy and off with their families. If I do not get in touch with them on the weekends, they do not reach out to me. Truth be told, however, the only person I really want to be with, is my Little Sister. The loneliness is debilitating, and I relate to your feelings of emptiness. The only thing I can suggest is getting out, taking a walk, perhaps going to the cinema, strolling about in a craft store...anything to be around people and refocus, if only for a bit, from the loss.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mike. Not to worry about feeling sorry for yourself. We have a right to all of our feelings in grief. We've been robbed of the most precious person in our lives, and that is reason enough to feel as we do.
Take care. Sister2, Xxxx

In reply to Sister2

Sorry to hear the sad loss of your sister and best friend. Thank you so much for your message. Sounds like you feel sad at weekends too.
You are lucky that you work during the week so you see people. I am now retired, living in a flat and alone with no family. I cant really go walking as I have IBS but would love to.
Funny enough I was feeling quite low tonight then all of a sudden a friend telephoned for a chat which lifted my feelings. Its just so nice to talk to someone when you are alone.
This web site is so helpful and gives me no end of comfort when I get messages such as yours thank you.
Take care and thank you again for taking the bother to message me. Regards Suexx

In reply to benenden

I think we must all feel lonely. My partner died on the 4th May and I will be returning to work in a couple of weeks which I am dreading. I work every weekend and Fridays so my lonelier times will be in the week. I know it will be awful to return home after work as Alan will not be there. I have family but for all the use they are I might as well not have. I only have a couple of friends as we had each other so didn't need any. They don't live very near and neither of them drive. I feel that I would be better off without family because as soon as I think I am starting to cope a little bit better it feels like I get dragged back down, which saddens me. It is awful like you say when you don't see or hear from anyone in days. From what people say it will slowly start to get better but never go away. I suppose you have to think of it as being your love which will never die and we shouldn't want it to. They'll be our loved ones until the day we die. We just have to manage our lives without them as best we can, in whatever way possible. When you do anything you have to tell yourself your doing it for Mike. Sending a big hug from another lonely person. x

Good to read your message, thank you.
Sorry to hear your partner Alan died so recently. Maybe returning to work might be the best thing to do as it may take your mind of things.
I just hope like you that things get better over time, just can't see it at the moment.
I just exist at the moment from day to day, hate this life.
I hope life gets easier for you and that you grow stronger.
Sending love to you, take care Suex

In reply to benenden

hello sue thank you for your reply and sending me your love. I've had a really low week this week due to family problems who seem to be more of a hindrance than help so it was nice to receive your message to help me back on track. It isn't always family that makes you feel low lots of other things do, but what really annoys me is when watching tv and they say family this and family that. It really upsets me because we haven't all got this super family life. Big hug from me to you.

Sorry to hear you have had a low week, me too!!! mine has been lonely as usual.
Sounds like yours has been family connected! and other things. Like you seem to have one problem after another. All the little problems seem to be big problems.
I have been to the dentist this week as my severe stress went to my gums causing severe gum disease. I have just got the feeling back in my mouth after a lot of treatment and four more to go costing me a fortune. Its funny never knew stress could come out in gums heard it could come out in skin and other ways.
Anyway look after yourself keep in touch here iif you need a chat love Suex

hi sue Sorry to hear about the problems you're having with gums and teeth. Stress can affect you in all sorts of ways. I never really knew what stress was until Alan was taken ill and like you say everything now seems to cause stress. From little things not going right to all the paperwork I've had to deal with and still am. It seems never ending. My return to work on Friday didn't happen as I had taken a down turn but hopefully will start next Friday when I hope i'll have got myself back on track. Hope your gums don't give you anymore trouble and we must try and overcome our loneliness (easier said than done) and try to have a stress free week or even day. Take care and thanks for the chat. Hope to hear from you soon. xx

Good to hear from you.
Sounds like you are getting back on track going back to work. That's good. I wish I had work to focus on. I need something to set my mind too. My house is on the market at the moment and would really like that to sell as it is a headache for me. Its in the country and I just cant go there on my own! just cant face it so I want it to go.
Hope you gave a good week. I hate weekends so lonely.
Anyway take good care xxx.

Hi Benenden,

I too sat on my own watching the tennis - my partner died in his sleep 21 weeks ago and it is now a miserable existence - comdoleces and heartfelt hugs to you xx