honest opinions please


imagine you have a son or daughter whose lived with the love of their lives over 20years and they have no kids and are not married and no will.your son ,daughter dies tragically.the partner left is distressed and heart broken.is your first thought how can i get the house,car savings in the bank account ,pension anything of value.or do you offer support and comfort to the partner whose obviously not coping.

Hi Ian, decent people would make sure you were supported. Unfortunately there are so many people who don’t care about you only what they can get. It’s so sad but greed is a great motivator. kate

I would like to think that you would get support, unless there has been a rift of some sort in the past, but even so this doesn't give them the right to take everything, I would have thought. However funerals seem to bring out the worst in people, it's a fact.
Many years ago I went to a funeral. I was surprised when the brother and sisters of the deceased gave the wife of the deceased notice to quit her cottage at the funeral. She had lived in the house with her family for 25 years and had spent most of that time looking after the grandparents. She and her husband had paid off the mortgage but there was nothing in writing. I couldn't believe they was doing this at such a time. It was my first experience of greed and uncaring relatives.
Have you consulted the CAB. Get legal advice this is the first thing you must do. I would have thought you had some rights when you had been together 20 years. If they think your going to put up a fight then they might change their tune.
Good luck

In reply to Jianye

I can imagine how you feel. It's disgraceful. These people have no empathy or compassion, totally without sympathy for anyone but themselves. Money is their one and only goal. I know as my darling husbands family turned on me 2 days after he passed. Never spoken since. I've been threatened with violence, insulted, the lot. Fortunately I have the house and some money but step daughter wanted it all. Tough luck she never got it. You can do without all this crap. Dismiss them from your life. You have your Jayne's love and she will see all will be ok.
Julie x

hi Kate
just be nice to have an arm round the shoulder and a word of comfort,like were here if you need us.thank you for your response regards ian

hi pattidot
thank you for response no rift or anything untoward before Jaynes passing.but a bit of support might of helped a little,as oppose to how they have been .regards ian

thank you for your response,and sorry to hear the experience you had to go through ;its bad enough losing your other half with nasty relatives as well.
Jaynes mum insists she is feeling as bad as me,if thats the case why did she feel i needed even more hurt added to that to which i was already feeling after the lose of vthe love of my life.i only found out last tuesday 21st after a trustee of Jaynes pension called me asking questions that Jaynes parents had filled in the pension forms same as me.i aint been told much other than i will get something,whether its going make a difference to my chances of a future without Jayne.me and Jayne were planning sell the house and move to brixham when Jayne was 55.Jayne was never ever money orientated in 2006 she took me to oneside told me look [ive had health issues which hindered my job prospects]said i should stop looking and take care of the house hold stuff ie washing ,cleaning shopping cooking etc etc.which i did,and i love doing this for Jayne.Jayne was a very hard working intelligent lady,she made my life complete,and i expected to grow old with her and never in a million years was i ever prepared for how things have gone this last 6 months or so its been an absolute nightmare.again thank you for all the responses and sorry for droning on.regards ian

I'm so sorry Ian for all you're going through. Life is so bloody hard for us now. I pray things will sort out well for you. You so deserve it.
Julie x

thank you Julie your comment very much appreciated.i hope and pray things work out for you .regards ian

You don't 'drone on' Ian. No way! We are here to help. There is no substitute for experience in this situation, and we sure have that. There's not a lot I can say that others have not said. But I can add my blessings and send my comfort to you. But THE comforter will come to you, of that you can be sure.