Has anyone got an answer for procrastination.
I wake in the mornings after hopefully my normal 3 to 4 hours sleep with so many good intentions, by early evening still nothing has been achieved. My daily walks have gone by the wayside. It is now 6 months since my husband passed and up until a month ago I honestly thought I was doing ok. , Where has that time gone.
Many blessings to everyone. X

In reply to Peace45

Tell me about procrastination! I have been meaning to take the car to a car wash for weeks now but every time I pass I can't be bothered. So many things get put off and a lot of it is 'what's the point'. With no one to share anything with it often seems pointless.
But it really is not good enough is it? Things have to be done. The laundry gets put off, but when the washing machine is full I just have to do it. My wife was a good housekeeper and I have to hoover around and keep things tidy.
Once we allow this 'don't want to attitude' to creep in it can soon become a habit. Not easy? Gosh, don't I know it!!!
But to me chores have always been boring, which is now accentuated by loss. AND I still make excuses for myself which is also bad. There is so much to remind one of the past when doing anything we did together.
Yes, where has the time gone? It's nearly nine months since my wife died and it seems only yesterday. I am improving, I know that. I do see a chink of light now and then, and that's a big thing. This grief thing is all ups and downs. They tell me it does level out. I hope so because it's not a very pleasant experience. No way.
Take care and Bless you.

Jonathan123, I had to smile regarding your car. I thought the wheels and wheeltrims on my car were naturally black until I finally took it to the car wash and behold they turned out to be silver. A very dear friend whose life is ebbing away, messages me most morning with a prayerful message but always finishes with 'make sure you find something to smile at today' Today your experience regarding the car was my experience and made me smile. I was just glad when it rained.
Yes I believe everyone who posts on this forum has let their normal standards slip, I certainly have. I also believe it is also a generation ''thing' .
My husband and I were avid news watchers, anything to do with politics, football, rugby, cricket, fishing Since he passed away I havent been able to listen or watch any of these programmes, I just pick up headline news from my tablet. I find I cannot concentrate with reading.
My escapism has been the film Chanels. I dont wish to join groups at the moment I may consider a walking group as I love the outdoors.
Jonathan 123 for both of us it is still very early days, for me I was married for over half a century, (I know time is just as important for someone with only a few months or years) but I will certainly not hurry this healing process.
I also know' me' and however long it takes, (small steps) and with Gods help I will come through.
Take care Jonathan123.

Dear Peace45 and Jonathan123
Like so many others I am sure, your posts have really resonated with me! Three years on and I am afraid that I still lack motivation...I couldn't tell anyone where the time has gone or what I have actually "done"... but the days that seemed so endless in the beginning now seem shorter, generally calmer and more peaceful; there are definitely opportunities to smile ( if only to myself!) and my memories are now much more of a comfort than a torment...slowly I am learning to just live without Barry's physical presence whilst his spirit stays with me always. To everything there is a season and I have come to believe that each of us have been given this time of pain and grief for a reason which is actually beyond our understanding. There is a chink of light Jonathan...and I think it gets a tiny bit brighter with every step we take.
Take care x

Another one here who cannot get their act together and get on with things. I wake up with the best intentions, all the things that need doing that I could get on with. I am coming up to two years in my house I moved to and have only put three pictures up. The rest are propped up against the wall in the sitting room. At the weekend when I am not working by the time I have got up, had breakfast and had a little mooch around the house the day has half gone and seems no point in finding the hammer and picture hooks. Housework bores me rigid so keeping vaguely on top of the dust an hoovering is enough most weeks.

Go through phases of reading but the books have to be really gripping for me to bother beyond the first few pages. I stopped buying newspapers as never read them and couldn’t bear the waste of money. Seeing the headlines on TV is enough for me and I often drift off to sleep during them!

I think it is just a very slow process. I hope so anyway and that I will find my ‘Mojo’ as it is called again.

Dear amelie'sgran
Thank you so much for your encouraging message. Over the years I have heard family members and friends whose loved ones have died that the second year may have been harder than their first year, after the second year the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter, which confirms what I had been told.
I was comforted by what you said about memories as at the moment I try my best to not think too deeply as I find them upsetting. I can cope with photographs which again some people cant.
My personal feelings are it is so incredibly hard for us all but perhaps for some men who have to negotiate foodhalls and the normal household chores it must be awful. My husband did all the paperwork and I would have made a real mess of everything if my son hadn't intervened and taken it all onboard and I was so organised, not anymore.
So thank you.
Many blessings x

In reply to Mel

Dear Mel, thank you for responding, again I had a wry smile as I am looking at pictures waiting to be hung, like you propped up against a wall. My husband passed away 23rd January 2019 we bought a ground floor flat, the layout being perfect for my husband and only 3 mins walk from my son and family. The day before he died we took the keys. Living in the flat has and is a culture shock but perhaps it was for the best as in time I will perhaps use it as a base to visit family and friends around d the UK.
My son will say I will put those up for you (he has all the tools etc) but I will say oh leave it until the weekend !!!!!
Yep , I too just vaguely keep on top of the chores after all there is only me, sadly I can hear my husband saying ' leave that and come and sit down' my answer ' I have to finish doing this' regrets !!!
I have taken up knitting again, not very good at it but it keeps my hands occupied. An acquaintance asked my daughter in law if I would crotchet a lap shawl for an elderly lady again havent crotchet for years so doing that.
Please keep in touch.
Blessings x

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace".

Biblical text.

Dear Jonathan123 Thank you for reminding me of the whole of that Bible message.

My faith is very important to me.

As is this:
We can make it
The journey may be long ahead of us, the light at the end of the tunnel not yet visible.
But God is here with us.
Place your hand in His and walk forward with him,,
Unafraid, unharried and at peace.


In reply to Peace45

Thank you...that is beautiful . Sometimes it takes a little time to find His outstretched hand but once our hand is in His He will not let us go. Blessings reciprocated x