I lost my partner a year ago this month and things still seem as raw now as what they were then, is it ever going to get any easier!!?
Does daily life get any easier!?
I think you will get a whole range of answers to that question. For me I think the answer is yes. I knew my wife was dying for 4 years so when she died in August I had served a period of notice. I think it probably does get easier for everyone but we all have different secondary problems and that will makes things very different from person to person. It's very difficult to make comparisons over a year but I suppose it depends how much pain you felt a year ago. Like I said I think you will get very different answers.
Dear Laura18, it’s a good question and as Yorkshirelad says, everyone is different.
My friend lost her true love 4 years ago and is finding life very hard still. She thinks it’s because she is older(early70s), but I am only 51 and my journey began very recently and I can’t imagine ever being the same person I was before. My life and all those who lose their partners lives will be forever changed. Really the life you had before has ended more than changed and people have said to me you have to think on it as a different, new life. I know three other people who lost their true loves and have all found a new life so I have hope. I have no answers for you really as it’s a question I also ask but I feel different every day and some of the more destructive feelings have lessened. Would it help you to think about some of the positive things you have achieved this last year ? Even tiny steps? I’ve had to do things in the last year I no idea about and never dreamed I would have been capable of and continue to try to do new things ( boring stuff like sorting bills, cars stuff, etc) that my husband used to do as well as speaking at his funeral and sorting everything out.
You are stronger than you think and we are here to listen. If you read the posts you may find comfort as I do. I wish you peace. X
Thank you, I have two beautiful little girls that keep me going but sometimes it does feel like 2 steps forward and 10 back! Forever searching for an answer as to why. Life feels very unfair. Take care xx
It's hard to accept that some questions just don't have answers. During my wife's illness she never asked "why me?" and I admit to pondering that many times. It's difficult to accept that we have lost so much and others haven't, but I would never wish loss on anyone else. However we know that everyone will be similarly touched one day.
From my experience, which isn't very long, I think that it's very difficult to avoid taking the steps back and we just have to learn to accommodate the fact it will. My wife's cousin has grieved for her husband for over 30 years and she still cries over him. He died of the same type of brain tumour as my wife and it brought it all back in a big way. I think the death of my wife affected her children as well and they were all young children when their father died.
Maybe grief just becomes part of us and shapes our future. I've lost my mother, Wife and favourite aunt in a short time....three women that I relied on to be there for me and I know life can never be as good again but I'm going to live it the best I can. I hope you can get lots of comfort from your children, I do from mine.
I've just remember a great quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln
" The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time".
That’s exactly how I feel..2 steps forward then 10 back..It’s not nice..
Hello Laura 18..I accassionally do beginners yoga on YouTube for just 20 mins..And then when watching tv do some deep breathing exercises..Just thought it might help.. Best wishes..
Hi. I am struggling after 4 months to find a way forward. X
Thank you xx