I know exactly how you feel. I don’t really enjoy anything anymore, Every thing is just ‘nice’.
Does this ever end?
Honestly Sadme, i feel exactly as u do. The only diffence is that is was my mum that i lost. She was my best friend and my whole world, in so many ways. I have to say, though, that connecting with people who have actually been through it is, for me, been such a help.
Jonathan and YL... I ‘liked’ and relate very much, thank you, you give solid balanced advice.
I spray it in my bedroom, always will x
I'm sorry you still feel the way you do after 2 years but I would imagine it can take some people a lot longer than others. I lost my partner 2 months ago so it is still early days yet. I have put myself down for the online counselling because people say it will help me. I am a bit sceptical about it because I think it doesn't matter what anyone says or does you will still have all those feelings inside and can't possibly ever go away, but I will try anything once. I too think the agony will go on for the rest of our lives but I feel I owe it to Alan to give it my best shot as he really loved life. I do feel the same as you ,day in and day out, but I do hope it will improve as time goes on. I hope that you too will find some peace in your life and be able to move forward. May you take comfort from the knowledge you are not alone. Take care.
I spray it in the bathroom...Brut
yes Sadie what you say I totally agree with. People whether older or even younger with health problems, some self inflicted and they seem to get by in life. My Alan was 77 very fit did everything that's asked of you in life eg. stopped smoking, good healthy diet, very rarely drank, walked plenty, did gardening, DIY, house maintenance, shopping, ironing, cooking, cleaning and would drive us out everyday Monday to Thursday to visit lovely places near and far. He loved life and never complained. He too never had a days illness in his life until 6 years ago when he had a perforated ulcer, hence why he gave up smoking. A couple of years ago he was told he was border line diabetic, hard to believe as he didn't carry any weight, so he listened to the advice given to him for that. They were amazed at the clinic how he turned that around to be no longer so. Two and a half years ago he was also diagnosed with prostrate cancer which he was on active surveillance for and one and a half years ago he was told he had non-hodgkins lymphoma which he had five lots of chemotherapy for, and he was always being told what an amazing positive attitude he had and he didn't look poorly at all. He also had copd and put his heart stress echo on hold until after his chemo. Ironically none of these things killed him. Pneumonia and paraneoplastic syndrome were on his death certificate although all the time he spent in hospital they didn't know what was wrong with him only what wasn't. The only thing for definite was he kept getting infections, due to his white blood cell count being low which makes your immune system break down. He worked hard all his life until he was 72 years old and it does leave you wondering why this happens to the good people and leaves us with such sadness and pain trying to get through life without our loved ones. Hope you can soon find some sort of peace and meaning to life as indeed I hope I can.
Oh Sadie, I know only too well that feeling. It's nearly 2 years for me as well and I see no point at all. I have friends and family, and try to keep very busy but like you say, at home there is nothing. I don't know what the answer is. I looked after my husband for over a year, and had given up my job to do so. I dont know whether a job is the answer, but I doubt it as my days are busy any way.
I'm sorry I have nothing positive to say, I wish I did. I shall read further to see if there is an answer. I didnt get past your post. I could have written it myself.
I'm really sorry. I really hope that there is an end, or at least an easing.
Omg it’s like reading how I am feeling. There is nothing anyone can tell me that makes this any fckn better. I am screaming in silence thinking I’m crazy but hey someone else feels this too x
" Does this ever end." well no, how can it? we are the ones who are still here, it is our partner who is no longer here...They are now out of all manner of pain, we are the ones left who are carrying over their pain...