Just come back from 4 days on the canals of Holland and visiting the bulb fields. Lovely trip but I still find it very hard being on my own. Meal times are horrible, I can’t cope with other people wanting to know all about me and why I am alone. Is it just me? but I now think I have to say no more. It’s not the travel so much because I have to go abroad to see our two sons, ok nerves are there but I don’t dread that, it’s mixing, I just don’t want too. Is it just me?
Going away (holiday)
No it's not just you Susie. Sometimes I get an overwhelming urge to get far away from everything and everybody. I don't want to mix and I really can't be bothered. I have a wedding to attend tomorrow and I don't want to go to that either. It's just all too much effort. What a way to be. I really have become very unsociable.
Hi Kate, I do hope the wedding is nice and you don’t feel ‘out of it’. You do know that I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best. This grieving thing is very difficult and there is nothing you can do but take each small step at a time. I never thought I would feel like this and it seems it’s for ever, I need to get use to it and at least I know I am not the only person. Hope you have a lovely day.
Thank you dear Susie x
I've been away several times on my own and right from the beginning I identified meal times as the most likely problem and source of discomfort. Fortunately I've never been placed in a situation where I have had to share a table, and then engage in small talk. It has been offered during hotel stays, and I swiftly declined. I can imagine it being extremely difficult to discourage particular conversations without giving offence. Giving it some thought I maybe could say that I choose to be single as that wouldn't invite further questions.
Another thing that I've developed to a fine art is the avoidance of eye contact, although that's just for those occasions when I feel I don't want to mix or chat. It's a bit like building a strategic response.
Hi Yorkshire lad, yes if you can stay on your own at meal times, life is better but when it’s not possible that’s the problem. It’s also difficult at other times. Sorry but I think it’s also different for women, for a start there’s more ladies on their own/two sharing. Get two together and I have no chance. Yes I have been away several times and always take a book with me, like you ‘no eye contact’ it works and people do leave you alone.
If there is something that I really, really want to go and see then I just may put up with the problem otherwise I will stay at home with my cat, sad person.
Hi Susie I agree with you that it's a bit harder for woman. I went away with a friend last year and when one of the other customers in the hotel bar overheard me saying I was a widow (in reply to someone asking me how long I'd been married) he thought that gave him permission to hit on me. I found this very distressing so like Yorkshire Lad I now have a cover story. Best wishes. x