Loss of husband


Lost my husband a few months ago, step children and grandchildren turned away, our son won't contact me, so I can't see my grandchildren, and I can't figure out why, and everyday I get up wondering why, most days are spent alone, I am not able to work, financially not able to take trips, so days are long, married 33 yrs and when we worked we worked together and pretty much were always together. I am scared, have had to handle things meant for a man to handle, wish it was all just a bad dream. I feel like my life ended when he died of cancer. He was everything to me, how do you go on? I see people together with their loved ones, so happy, the Christmas songs tear my heart out, tonight is the night all of us came together to exchange gifts And now it's all over. And to think that this is my life from now on is nearly unbearable.

Your story is so sad lost my partner suddenly in May he was only 48. I have 2 boys who are still in bed just opened some of my presents then I cried. Hated hearing the Christmas songs today is just another day to me the day James died I felt I lost a limb my life changed forever. All the things we did as a couple gone. I hope your son gets in contact with you. Do you have any other relatives or friends to speak too.
Christine x

In reply to Aries

I have no family except my husband's family where I live. Mine live in other states. Others that we know have their own lives, my step kids are grown, married and have their children which were my life for 33yrs. They have made it plain that I am on my own, I'm just trying to figure out how to live. I lost me when I lost my husband. How do you start a new life?

Oh Twinkles my heart breaks for you. I have been through the same thing, being dropped like a hot potato after 34 years. I couldn't understand it and I still don't. I sold the house and moved across the country to live with my daughter. I also changed my will. I was hurt and angry and bewildered. I hope things get better for you soon.

I try and get through one day at a time. I want my old life back I try not to think of the future im only 50 and I feel cheated. Sending a big hug to you I hope things get better for you.
Christine x

In reply to Aries

Christine, one day at a time is what I would like to do, hard not to look ahead though. I had so much to tend to when he passed, then my roof started keaking, car and truck tore up and it really magnified my loss and hurt from four men( steps, and a son) who offered me no help. I feel cheated too, I am 58. Thanks for your care and concern. I feel for you too. Hugs to ya.

Shirls, I have thought about doing what you did. And I may one day, did it help to leave the area? Are things better now? I really can't hardly believe that this is my life now after 33 yrs plus of being with my husband, my best friend, and his kids and our son, and now it's all gone. It's really horrible.

Hi Twinkles it has helped a lot to leave the town where I brought up my step children. They only lived five minutes away and I kept hoping and hoping. I sold all the furniture and appliances and donated truckloads of stuff to the hospice shop. Once the house was sold and I moved to completely new surroundings I felt bereft all over again but after a few months I started to feel better. Strangely enough I still keep in contact with my daughter-in-law's Mom who was also just recently widowed. But it was over a year after my husband's death that I could bring myself to do all that so don't rush into things. Maybe your path will be different.

In reply to Twinkles

Hi, Just wanted to reach out to you as I'm so sorry to read what you have written. Seems very cruel to me what your step children have done, I'm sure your late husband would be absolutely horrified by the way you have been treated. Its enough to deal with bereavement without all these additional problems.
I know what you say about feeling scared, I felt exactly the same when my lovely husband passed away in November 2017.
So many things to deal with and all so frightening. I seemed to have a catalogue of things going wrong at home, which William would have dealt with, but now its all down to me.
I have managed to "survive" just over a year and some days I feel strong and other days not so strong!!
Too many days alone are not great, it gives you too much time to dwell on things. I know its not easy, but try to get out if you can. I have found keeping busy, even a short walk helps to occupy my mind.
Thinking of you and sending you a big hug. Take care of yourself
Elaine x

Hello Elaine and Twinkles
Hope 2019 will be easier for you all. Yesterday I was in the supermarket and remembering New Year's Eve 2014 when my husband was in the ICU and suddenly started crying. Never finished my list, just paid and got out of there. I'm glad the rah rah holidays are over for another year.