Music helps


This may seem silly but I am using music to help me. I am starting to enjoy music again and am listening to 'our songs' . We had a ritual where especially on a Sunday we would play music and we would dance together, not just romantically but silly dancing taking in every room in the house, daft but it made us laugh. God knows what the neighbours thought! I have found that by forcing myself to listen to his music especially the music from his funeral, I have started to remember why we loved them in the first place and not just the sad occasion of his funeral. Anyone else do this or anything similar, by the way last Sunday I danced like a lunatic and laughed until I cried and cried until I laughed!

Within the first 24hrs of Che's passing I put together a tape with his favourite songs - didn't listen, just blindly picked them. It's been 3 months, and I finally listened to it. Oh my! I had "Like a Rock" by Springsteen, and Che didn't even like him. I realized that one was for me...He had a beautiful voice at one time - and that I'd heard him sing all these songs....He lost his best friend (before I knew him), and I would find him singing "The Empty Bed" by Mick Ronson, with tears streaming down his face and his eyes full of sorrow - now I understand. There was some hard core rock & roll and I did dance - and it felt good!! Listening to "his" music......I also put music together for myself that day - interestingly it was all "old" music from my teens and 20's - all comforting & soothing....So let's crank up that music & keep dancing our blues away!!

Heather big smile and a high five ! X

In reply to Silverlady

I went out to the yard and was singing to myself, which wasn't working too well. I was going to play one of "his" songs (which would make me sad), when one of my little voices said NO - exuberant, upbeat is what you need...So there I was in my yard; dressed in work boots,garden gloves,gray hair and wrinkles dancing to a reggae beat...and I laughed at myself and it felt good to move my body freely and have it feel lighter for a little is a good day because of this conversation...

Heather morning glad your dancing too , bottom line is who gives a s**t what people say, what's that saying dance like your alone! I am sure your loved one was rocking the beat with you. I am going to change our dining room into a music/liabary/snug room (no TV) my hubby was a DJ in his youth and I have found all his old LP's etc so going to put all his records books (both our interests) and make that my go to room!!! Have a good day, feel sad sing (if your that bad lol probably best do it in your head, I upset the dog) and dance away my friend!

Hi there, you have made me smile because I have done exactly the same as you, danced around my garden, probably looking like a lunatic.
I was working in the garden with my music on. A Stevie Wonder song came on that made me sit down and cry but determined I got up and began dancing. Cutting off bits of bushes as I went along. Did I care what I looked like, no I didn't. I have always loved to dance from a small child and pleased that at last I am managing to find the will to not only do my aerobics again, but I am dancing. It's a start.
Pat xx

Well done Pat, it's an easy way to feel lighter isn't it. I danced again today and my son joined in lol first time in a long time I laughed out loud as he impersonated his dad dancing, I loved it! Keep rocking!

Wonderful feeling isn't it. A little bit of us is returning. We have hope. Good on your son for dancing with his mum and for you for laughing. I doubt my family would do this. Probably think I had gone mad. Not far wrong at times.
I have a small heart shaped piece of wood hanging up and it says Laugh, Live and Love and I intend to try and do so each day.

Pat xxx
Took me months to want to dance again, or Yoga.

Pat my children are used to me! Music helps me express my emotions plus I like it! Tried yoga once I fell asleep

"tried yoga, fell asleep" - haha, I'm still chuckling... and "a little bit us is returning" and "a way to feel lighter"...thanks ladies....I remember in the beginning how I could hardly lift my feet to walk...and now, how good the brief moments of freeing myself from the grief feel...