Will i ever have a full night's sleep again?

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Here I am once again, sitting up in bed 3 o'clock in the morning, hot drink. Will I ever have a full night's sleep again? I tend to drift off to sleep quite quickly after reading but a couple of hours later I'm awake again, tossing and turning until I get up and make a drink and take it back to bed with me. I'll be awake now for a good 2 - 3 hours, then just as I manage to get back to sleep it's time to get up. It's been nearly 15 months since I lost my darling husband and he's still the last thing I think about before sleep and the first thing I think about on waking. But actually I don't mind that. I like to think about him. He's hovering at the front of my mind all the time, even now as I'm writing this. Is this my sleep pattern now? The strange thing is that I'm not tired, not now nor during the day. Is anyone else like this? Xx

Oh yes, this sounds very familiar. I woke last night at 3.40 am, having already been awake before midnight. I didn't get back to sleep and I do feel tired this morning, especially as most nights are like this. I resort to sleeping tablets when I get desperate but don't like to rely on them. I have had spells over the past 8 months [when my husband died] when I have slept better and I cope so much better during the day with my grief when I am not exhausted. I now accept this is the way it is for the moment and that grief shows itself in different ways. I just hope for an improvement at some point. I hope you too get some proper rest soon.

Ann x

In reply to AnnC

Good morning Ann. I hope you got a good night's sleep last night. I was still awake at 6am but did eventually drift off and then I was woken by the telephone around 8. It helps to know what others are experiencing. What an experience. Who would have thought it could hurt this bad? I'm sorry you're suffering too. I keep thinking I'll wake up from this horrible nightmare and my life will be back to normal. Oh if I could wave a magic wand and make everything right and we all get our loved ones back - how wonderful would that be? Alas, I can't do that so we all have to live this nightmare of a life. It's a glorious sunshiny day today so I'm going to try for positive thoughts so I send you love Ann and also positive thoughts and sunshine to you too. Xxxx

Thank you for sending positivity - could do with some. Yes, who would have thought there were so many aspects of grief, insomnia being yet another one to add to the misery list. Looking for the sunshine - in more ways than one - but cold and grey here atm. Maybe later....

Ann x

Hi Kate just wanted to say me too ,I cannot seem to stay asleep,I wake roughly every 2 hours,lost my hubby in March,sometimes I do feel tired on an afternoon but I try keeping busy,grief seems to sap you of energy,it's hard and so tiring being sad all the time,I'm the same cannot seem to think of much else but my hubby,I cannot remember when I last had a good nights sleep,sometimes I feel shattered but still can't stay asleep,oh well maybe tonight may be better,here's hoping a good sleep for all x

Night night Robina. Here's to a good night's sleep for all of us. Fingers crossed. Big hug xx

In reply to Crazy Kate

I lost my husband a little over 6 months ago. And I cannot sleep at night. I tend to go to bed at around 3am then I am up again around 5. I think about him 24/7. It hurts everyday.

In reply to Crazy Kate

I also think this is a nightmare which I want to wake up from, my family don't seem to care and some of my best friend's have withdrawn from me. Feel lost and alone.

You're not alone as we are all with you. We all feel the same so we're the ones who understand. Keep reading and writing on this forum, it really does help. Sending you a big hug. Xx

Hi Kate, Ann and everyone on this thread. It's odd: between 2.30 and 3 am seems to be a favourite waking up time for a lot of us. I just wish I could be that wide awake when it IS time to get up. I usually get a hot drink, a couple of biscuits put on an audiobook and listen to it until I go back to sleep. I like cosy mysteries and I can't tell you how many times I have to rewind the next day to find who the villain was!

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