Losing a teenage son


We lost our teenage son in a car accident almost 6 weeks ago. We never even had a chance to say goodbye as he was killed instantly. We have no idea how we’re going carry on without him, and I feel so frightened of what our future will be now. We have other children but I feel as if I have lost all them. It is so difficult to explain, I’m wondering if anyone else can understand what we’re going through?

Hello, I'm so sorry , I lost my son 3 weeks ago, he had a cardiac arrest. . He had been poorly with an infection previous. I know how you must be feeling. We are devastated as you must be. I just try to get through each day best I can. It's so hard as I miss him and expect him to walk through the door.it's heartbreaking .it does help to talk to others who understand. Take Good care. From a mum who understands xxx

Thank you for reaching out, I am so sorry to hear of your son. It makes you feel so alone doesn’t it, especially when you know there will be no end to the pain. We’re grieving for the future he should have had and that’s what hurts the most I think. Only another bereaved parent knows this feeling.

So sorry you have lost your son's. I understand the feelings of devastation you feel. I recently lost my daughter and despite being grateful for still having a lovely son my grief for my daughter totally overwhelms me.
Some of the things I have had said to me are:
You've still got another child and that's who you should be thinking about.
Life's for the living.
Keep busy because it helps take your mind off it.
Your daughter would want you to get on with your life.
Life's a gift.
You'll feel better in the summer.

Although meant to comfort me why do people not get it that when you lose a child your main sadness is not about yourself. It is about the future your child will not have. No amount of anything can compensate, and it cannot be fixed for you or your child ever.
We have no choice, as we are left here living, but to survive and learn to live with it.
Please know I am sending you both hugs and strength in these very raw early fdays. Xxx

Dear Marbella,
Your post really hit home to me - I lost my beautiful daughter in December and like you my grief threatens to overwhelm me.
I try to stay busy and have gone back to work but at times such strong memories come from seemingly nowhere and i almost struggle to breath.
I have 2 lovely sons and for their sake I try so hard to keep going but I honestly don't see the point of anything.
You make such a strong point of the fact that the sadness is for them and the life they have been denied.
Sending much love xx

Thank you for replying, I am so sorry for your loss. I too have had some of these comments, and I feel exactly as you do. It’s so difficult, I truly dread having to carry this pain with me forever and I would gladly give my life to have him back. No one understands our pain. Sending you strength x

In reply to Karen7

Dear Karen7
I am so sorry, we too are in the early stages and it is so overwhelming. Trying to carry on for our other children is a daily struggle, and I know I will never be the same mum that I was before. But you learn to put on the mask for them don’t you? And you do your best but inside you are broken x

In reply to Elan KS

Can I start with saying how very sorry I am for you , I hate to think anyone could feel the pain I have been through , I’m not sure their is a answer , how we carry on , but we do , the massive dog & pain & tears is their to save us , the numbness & not remembering those first few hours & days are to save us from insanity

I meant fog , sweetheart, only mums will no , it’s 15 months since I lost my gorgeous boy , I’m still here , empty & lost but I have other children & grandchildren & through them I try x

Hi , I'm in hospital right now my teenage son 13 hung himself and we could loose him any moment , he was meant to die a week ago but is surviving just and weve been told massivly brain damaged as he starved oxygen to his brain ..I also have 2 other children and feel like I don't want them and don't want to be a mum to them they are only 12 + 3 I don't even want to go home to my house as I will see all his things I just want to die myself ......