Son died of brain cancer

My son died age 29 on 05/07/19, he had been battleing brain cancer for four years.He had two brain ops and radiotherapy and more chemo than I care to remember.
The last few months have been a blur. I find I have periods of time where I function fairly well followed by day or days of constant crying . I cry sometimes unaware that I am. I am finding it difficult to remember him somedays before he became unwell. This has shocked me as I was insistant throughout his illness that others would not define him by it. My son Ryan was a gentle giant, polite and kind. I have two grandchildren and he was more worried about them, his sister my husband and I, than he ever was for himself, which seems to be a pattern in terminal patients.
We had four years with him from his diagnosis, he fought every step of the way and I was in awe if his bravery.
I tell my grandaughters that we cry and are sad because he was amazing and deserves to be mourned.
I have been advised to go to support groups but dont know if I would benefit from this as every story is heartbreaking .

I'm so sorry you have joined us all on this sad journey. Your son was clearly a wonderful being. I too lost my daughter after years of intermittent illness.
You sound very as I was in those very early days (a year for me now). I worried that I could not remember her but now I can see her and feel her clearly as if she was standing in front of me. This is comforting because I know that she is never going to be forgotten and is still part of our family. I think being in shock not only protects you from the pain a little but also blocks things for now.
My everyday memory and concentration is getting better too. Don't worry about it. Just go with it and try to look after yourself.
I have found Compassionate Friends meetings immensely comforting. We meet once a month and the fact that all have lost children means that every one really gets what you are feeling.
Sending you hugs. Xxx

Thank you for your support, I have great family and friends but worry about making their load heavier with mine. Your words have given me hope.
My friends are supportive but dont really understand and I hope they never do.
I have been looking for a group in my area. Thank you again x

Thank you for your support, I have great family and friends but worry about making their load heavier with mine. Your words have given me hope.
My friends are supportive but dont really understand and I hope they never do.
I have been looking for a group in my area. Thank you again x

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