Sudden death

My son was killed in a hit and run in April this year. The pain and loneliness I feel since he’s gone is just indescribable. He was only 19 and was my only child. We had the most amazing mother/son relationship, we were friends and I miss him incredibly. I’ve been having counselling through work which is helping but having to wait for the investigation to be completed and trial dates for the driver just prolong the agony. I never thought I’d be living in the world without my boy and I’d trade places with him in an instant. He was such a lovely, quiet, kind person. I was so lucky to have had him in my life.

So sorry TJD for the loss of your son and the circumstances in which he was taken from you. I don't know if this is of any help to you but I lost a daughter to cot death many years ago and received a letter from a vicar unknown to me....in it he wrote that each of us must die once and that those left behind should not wish their loved one back to have to go through it all over again and perhaps suffer even more through illness or a worse existence. Incredibly hard to accept but your son will never know pain or heartache again and you must trust that he is in a better place....for you the pain will go on but it does get easier to carry; you will always remember the joy you and your son gave each other and your love will never fade. Take care and God be with you in all the days ahead x

Hello TJD, sosorry for your loss, it must be heart breaking for you to think some else killed your lovely son I do not believe that it was gods will , he had his all life in front of him , and it is so cruel, and since we lost our lovely daughter Dawn, I feel very bitter towards God for taking her, I will never get over losing her , thinking off you. hugs Maddie xx

Hello TJD. So sorry that your son was taken far too soon. It is absolutely rotten, isn't it, and so so senseless.
Many of us here have lost our children and truly understand the absolute devastation you will be feeling.
A dear friend that lost her only son 20 years ago told me that whilst you
never get over it you do learn to live with it as it becomes part of who you are.
I have found the Compassionate Friends meetings massively helpful.
Do you have support at home?
Please keep posting and reading.
With love xx

Hi Matella, thank you so much for your response. It helps so much knowing that there are people out there who understand what I’m going through, although it’s heartbreaking to realise that the only people who do understand are those who have also lost a child. I haven’t been to any support groups yet but I really think it’s something that could help. My husband is very supportive, we’re helping each other through this and really couldn’t cope without him. Thank you again for your kind comments and advice xx

Hi Maddie49, thank you so much for responding. I’m so sorry that you lost your daughter Dawn, and you are absolutely right, our children had all their lives ahead of them and it’s been snatched away from them. I’ll always remember your kind words, thank you so much. Sending you hugs too, TJD

In reply to TJD

I can relate to your loss in so many ways, we lost our Son so unexpectedly on December 4th 2017...I know the utter shock and desperation of having a healthy, happy son one day then the next day you are told that he is dead..nothing can prepare you for that ...and there is nothing we can do...in my son case it was arrhythmia which killed him something that he or we never knew he had,he was on his own when it happened and when my husband found him it was to late..I can't help but wonder if he knew what was happening,was he in pain or worse was he frightened and and it's something we will never know the answer too.....I know you will be asking yourself these same questions and many more and it is something we will agonise over until the day we die.
It must be so difficult in your case knowing that it should never have happened that a stranger caused your son's death ...so so heartbreaking.
We had to have an inquest into our son's death and had to wait six months for the hearing so I have sense of how you are feeling and until you get the verdict there can be no closure...but what does that mean it does not bring our sons back.
Like you my Son was also my very best friend and the world is so lonely without him.
I hope you get news of the trial dates soon and that the agony of waiting will be over soon..
Take care...Marina xxx

I know exactly how you feel. My son died suddenly in Febuary and the pain of losing him is terrible. Everyday i relive the phone call telling me he was dead. I have other adult children and we are all still devasted. I'm trying to support them but every day us a struggle.

In reply to TJD

I know what you are going through my son my only child died suddenly on the 24/11/2016 from a blood clot after an operation it's devastating I think about him every day I've got his ashes with me at home time does not heal sending my love to you xx

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