4 years after losing mum


In reply to AnnAnnie

Aww I know what you mean but my mum was 2 days off being 60 when she died in 20 more years I would only be 47 and she would of been 80 which I did use to think why did you have me so late which wasn't even late she was 32 but some of my friends parents were 10 years younger than my mum and dad and I resented it a bit. I'm doing OK my little girl does keep me busy but please don't get me started on mothers day talk about it being shoved in your face what you have lost I wish this day never existed im also hurt because it is my first mother's day as a mum so feel I should really be enjoying it very bitter sweet. How have you been? Xx

I really miss that too, mum had such a vibrant infectious personality and you would instantly warm to her whenever she walked into a room. You're right, it seems so unfair that everyone else seems to have their mums and even nans. Mothers day was very hard, it always is, especially when its plastered everywhere! How are you doing now?? And how old is your daughter now?

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Loosing one parent is hard enough but losing both so close together must have been unbearable. Do you have siblings you can lean on ?
I know what you mean, I try to make my mum proud everyday, I always think 'what would she do?' when I'm trying to decide things but she was so absolutely wonderful I don't think I can ever possibly compare and then I feel even worse :-(

Hi Kate and Angelwings

Well I got through mother's day just about in one piece. I hope you both did too.

No, I don't have any siblings. In some ways it is easier as I get to decide everything bit on others a lot harder I guess as nobody remembers things about my childhood apart from me now.

Having a young child is hard at the best of times so I really feel for you Angelwings. Your mum lives on in your genes and your child's genes though and I am sure you will see traits of your mum coming back to life through your child. I see both my mum and dad in my son. X

Kate, I do the same. Think, what would my mum do and I genuinely think it is turning me into a better person. My mum was the kindness, most selfless person I knew. I just wish she could see me now trying to be as good a person as I can be. I will never match her, but at least I am trying my best. She used to have a saying "Just try your best. Angels can do no more" and I try to do this now.

As for friends....some have been amazing....some have been made because they showed me kindness when I was at my lowest and others have been shit...I know who I will b3 spending more time with in the future because of all this so that is a positive!

Have you found any nice ways to remember your mum's?

Ann xxx

That saying is so true, who can do more??
I've ordered a memory box which I was advised to do and intend to put all the things she gave me that are precious in there. How about you? xx

Hi Kate

I am growing my mums favourite plants...cooking the things my mum used to bake...keeping in touch with my mum and dads friends and doing some fundraising in their name. I'm also treating myself to little gifts. I miss the unexpected gifts they bought me so why not treat myself a little.

Anything to keep the relationship somehow and I guess to keep talking about them too. I tell my son that just because they have died, he can still love them and I tell myself that too.

At least we know we had wonderful parents. Not everyone has that unfortunately. I heard that grief is the price for deep love and that makes sense (although it doesn't make it any easier!)

Ann xx

Hi - I lost my Mum at the end of 2017. At first it seemed strange as I did not have time to think or grieve; but now my grief seems to take over all the time. I just feel so sad and so lonely.

Hi Solent05

I'm sorry you are going through a tough time. You are not alone. We understand here. Take one day at a time when things are bad.

Sending love
Ann xx

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 2 years ago and my dad 3. I think about them every day. I had no idea that grief would hit so hard and stay for so long. I don’t think anyone is ever the same after a loss. Sometimes I feel so selfish because I feel as if I would give anything to have them back, even at the very final stages of their lives (which were horrible for them) just so I could have them beside me still. Focus on your positives and keep looking upwards and forwards. You are not alone in your feelings of grief. Xxxxx

In reply to SamBam85

I can completely understand every emotion u have felt, because I ve felt it too. My mother was such a huge figure in our family and now everyone looks to me to fill that void, even though, im one of the younger ones in my family. Its like u dont have time to grieve, cause ur too busy sorting out everyone else.