Coping with Mother's Day

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I know Mother's Day and the run-up to it can be a really hard time if you've lost your mum, with reminders of the day everywhere at the moment. I'm starting this conversation as a place for anyone in this situation to share experiences and support each other.

Whether you are planning to mark the day in some way, or just doing your best to ignore it, you aren't alone. Let us know how you are coping here.

My mum died 16th january. It was so sudden. She was 81 but you just thought she was going to be around forever! She was my rock. Feel so sorry for my dad. They were together 58 years. Seeing all these mother's day adverts, gifts, cards is making me feel so sad :( it will be the first mother's day without my mum :( I now have realised that there are other people out there that must dread mother's day every year as it brings back the memories of having lost their mum :(

My mum died 11th August 2017 so this is the first Mother’s Day without her. All the adverts on the tv and online make me sad but I am a Mum too so in many ways I see this as the Circle of Life. To not celebrate being my son’t Mother seems wrong so I am trying to embrace it.

I have decided that I will raise a glass to me and send her my love as I always did.

Caroline

I am the Mother of two sons whom the youngest passed away on the 4th December 2017...it will be my first Mothers day without him for 43 years,not only am I missing him so very very much just the thought of his card not being next to his brothers upsets me enormously.....Mothers Day like so many other celebrations throughout the year I used to look forward to, but Christian's death has changed everything...

This is my first mothers day without my beautiful, brave mum. It would also have been her birthday this week. I have bought her a card, for both days, just as I always have. I have cried every day for the past 5 months, so the tears will continue to flow this week. I decided I would remember all the lovely special days we had together. One of my favourites was when I took her to the royal opera house for her 80 th birthday to see madam butterfly. We had never been before because it's so expensive but i was determined to take her for this special birthday. We had an amazing day. Such a precious memory for me. So, through my pain and despair, I will also think of our happy days and how Lucky I have been to have had the unconditional love of my darling mum who was perfect in every way. I love you mumxxx

My mum passed away last April I'm dreading mother's Day this year I'm going to be crying I'm dreading her birthday which is on the 4th may they are all brilliant every person on here because everyone as lost someone it's nice for me to come on here and helpother people

In reply to Clares

Remembering our Mums and special days we had with them is so important. I have a photograph of my Mum at her 90th birthday party by my bed so it is the first thing I see in the morning and the last at night. Like all our Mums she was beautiful and I like to remember her that way, laughing and happy.

I look away from displays of Mothering Sunday cards and will from Father’s Day ones too. I will buy some flowers for Mum and have them with me to remember her. When the time comes I shall indulge in a large Toblerone for my Dad. Despite the cold weather Mum’s camellia that I brought for her is full of buds so I have that to look forward to as well.

Yes Mothering Sunday will be sad and yes I will cry that day but no one can take away my memories. I will be having a gin and tonic to toast her and wherever she is she will toast me back.

In reply to Mel

Hi Mel
Your words are so warming. I, like you, have my mum's photo next to my bed for exactly the same reason as you. Our memories are so precious. It's all been so painful but i am just beginning to remember our happy times with fondness rather than the terrible sadness that's been with me since she became ill. Thankyou for sharing this with me, we are lucky to have had such devoted mumsx

I just wanted to share this reading with anyone who visits this thread this week. I find it very touching.

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and hope that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Hi,
Lost my mum
In December and I’m so glad to see I’m not the only person going to buy a mother’s day card. Not plucked up the courage to buy it yet but I will do, just because she’s not physically here doesn’t mean I can’t still buy her a card, thanks Clares x

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