My Mum has not got a Dementia diagnosis, nor any other diagnosed serious illness at this precise time, but at 86 years old it's an inevitability that she worst will happen sooner rather than later.
I've "lost" my Mum though already, and the strain has led me to experience signs of a breakdown and I've self-harmed as I'm already coping badly with a previous bereavement.
My Mum says the most hurtful things to me but with my other siblings will act OK Things that are cutting, make my blood run cold and are things that once said can't be unheard. I think is it down to illness/old age etc, but then I think how can it be because only I witness this and it's only me it's said to. Surely if it was due to illness she'd display this behaviour to all three of us?
I felt a disconnect between us shortly after my own loss and confided this to the Samaritans and my prediction of our relationship has sadly turned into reality.
I've lost everything really, my Husband to illness, My Mum relationship-wise and I don't know what to do about my Mum's emotional state which is deteriorating badly and rapidly. She refuses help from family and GP services.
I don't really know what I'm asking but it's tearing me to bits seeing my Mum deterioate after all these years when she should be having a cosetted and stressless life but being made to feel as if I've been a waste of 53 years to Mum on a daily basis is also incredibly difficult and soul-destoying. It's not something I'd ever think I'd be writing about on a public forum.
Please can anyone suggest anything? Thank you.
Thanks for reading.