Hit with a bombshell today

I have written on here many times before about losing my Dad.
He died suddenly 15 months ago.
I never thought I could feel the way I did , the feeling of compleatly being devastated.
Not wanting to carry on without him , I’m sure many others no the feelings .
I was beginning to deal with my loss , having more good days and less bad days , until today.
I am very close to my Grandson who is 4 years old .
And he was very close from birth to my Dad his Great Grandad.
He told me today my Dad comes to him in the mornings and tells him that he loves him very much.
I asked do you answer him , he said , “O yes I tell him I love him too”.
There was no prompt, no talk of my Dad , just the two of us .
He was playing ,he stopped looked at me and told me.
I really don’t no how to feel about it.
I was upset but had to hide it from him.
I can’t stop thinking about it.
I have since started to slip back into that black dark place I was in before.
What does this mean.

I'm really sorry to hear that you find yourself in a dark place after this conversation with your grandson. Grief doesn't move in a straight line and it is very normal to have good days and bad days, so feeling worse doesn't necessarily mean "going backwards". Do you have supportive people around you that you can talk to if you are going through a dark time?

It is nice that your grandson had such a close relationship with your dad, and still feels loved by him, but I can understand why you felt thrown when he said that. Perhaps it is a sign that he wants to feel close to his great grandad and to remember him?

Perhaps, if you feel up to it, it could be a good chance to talk to your grandson about your dad, share memories or look at photos? Some people find this a comforting way to keep memories alive with young children.

Thank you for replying , it really does help .
I have family but it seems their lives just carry on as normal.
Ever since my Dad died my life just seems to move from one mess to another.
Nothing goes right .
I can’t seem to get back on track .
Even the simplest of tasks turn into a major trauma.
And when I think things may be getting a bit better my 4 year old Grandson tells me he talks to my Dad .
What’s that all about .
I have to admit ,it really threw me .
I have all kinds of emotions flooding my head at the moment.
Even being jealous of my Grandson.
Why isn’t Dad talking to me , rediculous.
Very upset and teary again today .
With a banging head , it’s been 15 months .
I no I need to get to grips with it all and I am really tying .
The smallest thing is magnified to a point where each day is a battle .
Is this really normal ?
I am beginning to think I might be going crazy.
And the worst thing is , people say , “How are you “, and of course I say , I’m fine.
I’m turning into a brilliant actor.
Talking on here really helps me , so thank you again.

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