I can't accept that my Dad is gone...


Hi....My Dad died last month...5 weeks ago. It was sudden, unexpected, a complete shock. He was a strong, hale and hearty man of 73....I spoke to him on the Wednesday morning...he died on the Thursday. Nothing seems to make sense..
I keep thinking it's been a mistake and he's still alive. I feel all over the place... and I keep thinking I should have known something was wrong. I'm tied up with should have, could have, why didn't. .. it's endless...My heart is completely broken and I don't know how I will regain the strength to be a good mum to my children or to really do anything meaningful again. I feel like it must be a dream....but I know it isn't.

Thank you so much Purple Dreamer. Your words have helped me so much this morning. So sorry to hear what you went through when you lost your Dad too. I think what you say about being unable to process such a sudden loss is absolutely true. You can't see the future so how can you know what's coming. Nothing makes much sense at all but I hope it will eventually. I'm trying my best to be at peace with the situation...people try to reassure saying 'but your Dad is at peace now ', and i believe that he is... did you have anyway that helped you to process your thoughts? Did you have much support when your Dad died??I still speak to mine all the time and feel that he isn't gone. There are still so many questions and mysteries though....thanks so much for sending hugs and support.
Best wishes

In reply to MJ

Hi, mj , my name is jane.... I feel for your situation, im 6yrs into dad dying and still am trying to deal with my own demons over it..... if I may suggest, go to grief counselling, (I didnt and I struggle with emotions now)... last yr I did 26 weeks in psychology, am now in emotional couselling and undergoing hypnotherapy to help with the demons in my head.. I advise to talk sooner before later, would not wish my symptoms on anyone... good luck xx

In reply to MJ

Aww sweetheart what an awfull shock losing Dad like that. I'm new here. Just sending you love and wishes. X

Dear Jane,
Thanks so much for your message. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles since losing your Dad....thanks for being so honest. I am on a waiting list for counselling and I pray that it will help. I hope that you are feeling the positive benefits of psychology and emotional counselling. How are you finding the hyponotherapy? I am intrigued to know more....esp after some of the experiences I've been having lately. PM if you would prefer. Best wishes and thanks again, MJ

I found the hypnotherapy, exhilarating.... I was so close to my dad, there isn't a day goes by that he isn't there in my head.... She helped me to see past the grief, and when I start to get upset, my subconscious goes to a place of happy times, as I was taken over with the guilt and the death... She also helped me with the depression, to channel it, and things to do to settle the situation with relaxation therapies, and destressing techniques..... Its not a cure by any means, but bearable... Your grief is still in the early stages, and hope yr counselling works ... I know the suffering your feeling. Any time u need to talk ...

Thank you so much Anunciata. It means a lot to receive your warm wishes. Sending some your way too!!

Thank you so much Jane. Reading your words gives me such hope. I will keep in touch. Your journey sounds so profound. Best wishes, MJ

Good luck , don't assume it will be over once you been to the counselling . far from it..... Each day will be a trial for you, a smell, a intimate thing, a song, anything with a memory will trigger your mind set back to your grief.... It just becomes easier to cope with on an average day... On the special days is dependant on how strong you are, those days will take every ounce of strength you have... Fathers day, birthdays, Christmas etc... Find something in your past that you liked to do, and keep going to them places, I liked going to the park with dad... Being outside... I now have something to look at outside when I need to see him... I named a star in the sky after my dad they give me comfort to know he watches over me from time to time....

Hi Jane
I hope you have been keeping ok. How are you feeling these past few days?
For me it's been a bit up and down.
Today I felt really down and wobbly, and just couldn't get through my head that my Dad is gone! !! I can't accept it. Try not to think about what's happened and feel really low. Up until now I thought I was managing....now I just want to sleep, hide and run away from this life. Sorry to moan.