Just lost my dad

Hi I’m 26 just got married and moved away due to starting my new job and I’ve just Lost my dad almost 3 weeks ago I miss him terribly, worrying about going to work and also I just feel to scared to leave the house Really struggling to carry on I feel so many emotions and when I close my eyes all I see is my dad laying in hospital in his last living moments in a coma

Hello, I'm so sorry you have lost your father. At a time when you are dealing with so many stressful changes you also have a tremendous loss to try and cope with. When my mother died and the shock started to wear off, I started to feel absolute terror. You feel like your parents are always going to be there and to know they aren't is a complete shock. My mother was elderly and sick when she died but her death has still devastated me. How much greater is the shock when it happens to you at a young age. Allow yourself to grieve and know that whatever you feel is completely normal. xx

In reply to Carol Dilys

I’m still in shock and hurt so deeply I feel so affected by what I see when the last few living weeks of my father he was only 67 and taken to soon and I’m heart broken do you think there is ever a good time to get yourself back out to work , or just when I feel I can? X

In reply to Charlotte123

It's a bit catch 22. If you take too long off it can make it even more daunting to return to work. If you go back too soon be prepared to find yourself initially tearful and struggling to cope. I don't know how long you have already been off - I had 2 weeks because that is all I was allowed. I struggled for a long time especially as my colleagues either didn't know what to say to me or initially made insensitive comments like ' you've been a wonderful daughter but now you are free to get on with your life'. The first few days were the worst but after that I found having to think about things other than my mum kept my mind occupied and actually helped. It kept me sane. You may find it completely different from me when you return to work but I think you will know when you are ready. I really feel for what you are going through and really hope that when you are able to return to work that it helps you too. It is going to take time but you will eventually feel more able to cope with your loss. Love Carol xx

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