Life without my amazing Mum

I lost my mum In October of last year, she was healthy at 73, she was like a 50 year old.. the most amazing woman in the world... my rock my everything... she was moving nearer to me and my 7 year old daughter to be with us and that week she had a bleed on her brain and died within days... I never got to say goodbye, I never got to even speak to her the day she slipped into a coma...I watched her pass away and that moment will forever be etched in my mind... My heart is broken, I feel like a lost little girl...panic, crying all the time... who will take care of us.... my dad passed a few years ago and my sister lives far away... I have a few friends and some family near but essentially its just me and my daughter... my mum was like her second parent as she dosent see her father..she was the best nanny in the world and my daughter is missing her so so much... seeing that rips me apart inside.... my mum did everything for all of us, she put us first we were her entire life.... its been 6 months and I still cant believe she is gone ....I've still not accepted that I wont ever see her again... I've read loats of threads on here and the pain is the same on each.... so I'm sending out love and light to you all ... if my mum taught my anything it was never to give up... and I'll never give up hope that things will be easier and life will get better x

Hi Faye

Just wanted you to know I've read your post and feel your pain.

I lost my mum last year and my dad the year before that. It sounds like you were really blessed with a wonderful mum, as was I. It's a double edged sword though as their loss is even more felt when they were such a big and wonderful part of our lives.

The strength your mum taught you is a gift though. When I'm feeling sorry for myself, I try to think what would my mum and dad tell me or what would they be proud of me for doing. It keeps me going.

I've also connected with some of my mum's friends and their support has felt like her love for me carrying on. Are there any of your mum's friends you can get in touch with to make you feel less alone?

My son is young and lived his grandparents so much. That rips my heart out knowing he is sad too but he also has helped me through. I talk to him a lot about them and that helps me feel close to them too.

Here to chat if you think it will help.

Ann xx

Hi Ann

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, our situations are similar yes... I'm glad that you've been able to find some relief with connecting with your mums friends, mum didn't have many friends as we were her whole life but I am in contact with her oldest friend, only through letters and the odd phone call as shes far away and cant use a mobile phone... but I usually cry when I get off the phone as I know how close she was to my mum and I know how upset she is now my mum is gone..

The pain never goes away but time forces you to accept that they are never coming back... when my daughter talks about my mum it's very hard not to cry but I stay strong for her as she needs to know mummy is ok.

I hope things get easier for you, I know that our parents wouldn't want us to be so sad and in so much pain even though its out of our control.

Sending love and light to you and your family xx

Thank you Faye

I let my son see when I cry sometimes because I want him to know it is ok to be sad. A good thing that has come out of this is that he is a really loving child so my mum and dad would be proud of that.

One of my mum's friends makes me cry every time I speak to her as she misses my mum so much. It is a bitter sweet emotion though as it is nice to speak to someone who loved her too.

I also think my mum would be so happy I was keeping in touch with her so I do it for my mum too.

My dad didn't have many friends so I feel nobody talks about him any more which makes me sad but I know I still love him dearly and nothing can change that.

For my son's birthdays and Christmas, I still get him a little present from my parents. Not in a wierd way, (I hope!) but I tell him that I imagine what they would have liked to have got him and it keeps their memory alive.

I guess we all just do things to get through. I am sure your mum would be so very proud of you looking after your daughter. I hope your daughter brings you comfort too as it's us who have to be the mum's now. The good news is that we had wonderful role models to follow. So many people never have that.

I hope you have a good day today. You are doing a fab job. Xx

Ann xx

Hello Faye, I'm so sorry about the loss of your lovely mum. She sounds like a truly amazing lady. I lost my dad within 2 and half weeks of his being diagnosed with cancer. Althought I got to say goodbye to him, we had no time to do the things we'd planned. I just have my mum at home, as your daughter has you. We live 3 hours away from any family so other than our friends, like you it really is just me and my mum. Stay strong for your daughter, you need eachother. Sending you both a big hug and love. Take care, Toria x

Hi, thank you so much for your message... Grief is something that unites people going through the same I've now learnt ... Life without mum is the hardest I've ever experienced... she was an amazing woman, a true angel x I hope you and your mum take comfort in eachother with the loss of your dad, that must have been very difficult losing him so quick... I understand this very well... it's good to reach out and talk to people who know what it's like...I appreciate all the love and I'm sending it back to you and your mum.. love and light to you darling xxxx

Hi FayeS
I lost my mum last year just two weeks before Christmas. I am just devastated and heartbroken and like you cannot accept that she is gone and i will never see her again. Although she is with me in my heart and my memories. My mum was a fit and healthy 81 year old but looked and acted much younger. My sister and I had taken her on a mini break to Spain when she unfortunately fell and broke her hip over there. We then spent two horrendous weeks in a Spanish hospital as she had to have an operation. On returning to the UK we took her to the local hospital to get checked as she wasn't herself and she was admitted. Sadly she got pneumonia and passed away 11 days later. It has all been a total shock for us. What should have been a nice family holiday has ended up the worst time of our lives. The pain and sadness is just overwhelming and I miss her so much. I luckily have my brother and sister for support as well as my husband and children. It must be so hard for you with just your daughter. Your mum taught you well when she said never give up and I hope you find the strength to get through this difficult time. Stay strong and take care
Louise x

Hi Louise
Thank you so much for your reply darling, what an awful way to lose your mum, I understand the shock and devastation all too well, the pain and sadess is overwhelming I know.... im not functioning right without her and it seems like the pain will never end... but I know in time I will have to learn to live with the ache and get through it for my daughter... she is the only thing keeping me going right now...I'm.glad you have support, it's very difficult going through this with no one to lean on but it will make me stronger if anything... we juts have to learn to hold on and see the light at the end... because it is there, i can promise you... my mum taught me yo be strong and that's what i will do...even when I'm just sick and tired of being strong and i want to fall apart i have my mum in my heart telling me to get up and move forward... i am blessed she was my mum... love and light to you and your family darling xxx

Hi FayeS

I love the strength in your words. Your mum was clearly a wonderful and positive mum.

I try to do the same. When I want to break down completely, I allow myself to for a little while then I imagine what my mum would think. She would want me to "just get on with it" as that was a favourite saying of hers.

I still feel her love and the love from my dad and that gives me strength too.

To everyone on here, I hope today is an ok day for you. "One day at a time" has got me through the last couple of years so I know it works, however hard it feels right now.

Sending love
Ann xx

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