My dad passed away 4 weeks ago, i knew it was going too happen one day. My dad was given 6 months too live last October. The hardest thing is knowing my dad was scared and didn't want too die! He didn't want to leave me, that was his words two weeks before he passed away. I feel so lost and numb.
I.m sorry for your loss and totally understand how you feel as I too lost my dad in 2015, and since also have lost 2 brothers and finally mum in May.
You will go through many emotions over the next months and even years, and being lost and numb will be part of those.
Cry when you want to, talk when you want to, but try not to bottle your feelings up so if you do have someone to talk to then use them, if you don't come on this forum, as they.ll always be someone who understands how you feel.
It's still very early and raw for you, but given time you will have some days that feel better than others.
Let's hope tomorrow is a better day than today. Take care x