Lost. My dad

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Lost my. Dad in Jan and some days. Are better than other days but feel I can't talk to my mum or brother as we are all going though it all. Just feel some days feel crap

Hi Julia,

I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your dad and that you don't feel able to talk to your mum or brother. It's really important to be able to talk about your emotions, as bottling grief up can make things worse. Perhaps your mum and brother might actually appreciate the chance to talk to you about your dad and how you are feeling, so that you can support each other?

This site is also a really good place to get things off your chest, and I'm glad you've taken the step of posting here. While you wait for more replies to your post, you may also find it helpful to read and reply to some of the other conversations in the Losing a Parent section of the site: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-parent

Oh yes!! There should be warning on the bottle. 'Bottling up is dangerous to your health'. I don't believe in 'going it alone', no way! We need support and people, but the right sort of people. Sharing grief is very helpful, at least I have found it so, and this site has been a Godsend to me.
So much suffering but so much courage too. Gosh, adversity sure does bring out the best in us as painful as it is.
It will be up and down until it eventually levels off. You will never forget, but the pain does diminish a little with time. I have found it so after nearly ten months.
Take care and keep posting. Best wishes.

Hi hun it not that can't talk to them i chat with my mum more just feel u can't say every thing u want to say and my brother has found it more harder and only know from wot sister in law has told us guess we trying to found ourway

Yes there should be but think it easy to speak with some one who is out side family but not knowing where togo

In reply to Juliap

Yes indeed. And that's why good counselling can be so important. The person you talk to needs to understand the pain, but not to take it in to themselves. Doing that would render them useless as a helper. Someone who can be caring but objective and who, preferably, has suffered in this way.
Bereavement counselling requires intensive training. So often unqualified people can make the situation worse. We should all be discerning when we choose someone to unload to.

In reply to Juliap

Yes indeed. And that's why good counselling can be so important. The person you talk to needs to understand the pain, but not to take it in to themselves. Doing that would render them useless as a helper. Someone who can be caring but objective and who, preferably, has suffered in this way.
Bereavement counselling requires intensive training. So often unqualified people can make the situation worse. We should all be discerning when we choose someone to unload to.

In reply to Juliap

There are people who care . Cruise helpline ,a local minister , perhaps a teacher or kindly neighbour . Lots of people know what pain is will help . It is not a weakness to ask for help . God Bless .

In reply to Juliap

It's a sad day and every day will be hard going .Ive lost my husband last year ,this month will be our one year. My DAUGTHERS have become so close to each other as our lost was very hard .They cry with me and cry with each other .Love is a big thing that will help you every day ,months years. To have each other and to keep the link stronge till we all meet again.i feel for you Juliap.I will pray for you .God help you in your grieve.xxxx

I lost my dad 23 days ago, & I'm really struggling. We had a fallout a few years ago & never made up. I went to see him in his coffin hoping it would help, but it didn't, just made me so upset & I'm just so angry with myself, I should have rang him last year but didn't know what to say. I need some help, I just don't know who to turn to.

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