I lost my dad in March. He died the day before his 66th birthday. It was a very short battle with cancer. I think that's what makes it all the more difficult to accept, because it was so quick and none of us saw it coming.
He was my world, I idolized him. I'm an only child and feel too young to lose my dad at the age of 34.
Im struggling to think of good times we had because it's still so painful. I go through periods where I feel OK and numb to the pain and then next it's like he's just gone all over again. He had no symptoms right up until the last few days. It's like one day he was fine and then next he's gone.
We used to do so much together and I even had the honor of serving alongside him in the army. He was by best mate and a massive part of me died that night with him. I saw him pass in his hospital bed peacefully, which I take some comfort from but weeks on I'm really struggling.
I have a beautiful wife and 2 year old son and Im trying to hold it together for their sake, but I find myself getting angry or moody alot these days. I look at his pictures and it doesn't seem real still. I'm also trying to hold it all together for my mum who lives 100+ miles from us. She's all alone but soon to be moving up to us. I hate the thought of her there alone.
At the moment it doesn't seem like this hole in me will ever be repaired and I wake up every day with the feeling of pure loss and grief.
Thanks for listening