Mum now more and more frail

I lost my Dad over 20 years ago when I was 21. Mum now very frail and weak and went into a residential home recently. Very worried how I will cope with her death and when she has gone.

I'm so sorry to hear your loss and about your mum keep posting im sure people in your situation will respondy take care your in my thoughts Adele x

Hi ChrissieB. My mum who was my best friend also went into a carehome as she had severe dementia. I cared for her alone at home at first but when things became too hard I couldn’t cope. The guilt of having to let mum go there is still with me and she died two years ago. As bad as it was mum was actually quite happy there she was able to walk round and round they had parties & activities that she loved. I honestly thought I’d fall apart when she died. I’ve dreaded it since I can remember. All I can say is you will cope. You’ll do it for her. You will remember things she told you and taught you and you will get through it. Enjoy every minute of your mums company spend as much time with her as you can let her know how much you love her. That bond between you will never break even after she dies. Take care

Hi Chrissie B

I am really sorry to hear about your mum and it must have been so hard losing your dad so young.

You will cope. Your mum's love will carry on. I know this because I lost my dad 2 years ago then a few weeks later my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I cared for her at home until it became impossible and she spent her last couple of months in a care home and died a year after my dad.

It broke my heart losing her but it was my mum who told me she would never leave me and it is true. When I need strength, I just think what my mum and dad would tell me to do.

Spend lots of time with your mum. Tell her you love her and anything else that is on your mind.

Here if you want to chat.

Ann xxx

I hope your mother is comfortable and you are both happy with the choice of care home. That will help ease the burden. Being with her as much as you can, enjoying those moments as best you can and mixing with the relatives of other residents will be the best for you. Realising and accepting what is to come should help you cope as it did for me. But don't think too far ahead and worry about what may or will come. Just live each day at a time and try to learn how to cope with the support of others around you. The very best of luck to you.

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