Night time grief

My Dad passed away in December 2017. I coped , I didn’t cry or get upset just dealt with what needed dealing with. As time has gone on I have continued to support my mum the best I can but more and more I am trying to hide from the fact my dad has gone. I find it hard to talk about him or look at photos but then feel guilty as if I’m trying to forget him. Daytimes are ok , I stay busy but when I come to bed at night it hurts. I find it so hard to get to sleep and when I do I just dream about other relatives that have died but never my dad. As time goes on things are getting harder. I need to talk but I don’t want to talk because then I have to face the truth. I just don’t know how to deal with my pain I was so close to my dad and he meant the world to me.

Hi im so sorry to hear about your loss it's utterly devastating my loss is very different to yours but I feel your pain it gets harder for me as the days seconds go on guilt is natural too please reach out there's lovely people on here who have stopped me from joining my soulmate I've been told the counselling services are good on here too there is cruse bereavement always Samaritans 24/7 im sure kind people in your situation will advise you better on here im sorry for your loss in my thoughts and prayers take care of yourself as much as possible Adele x

Hey, I can relate is some ways. I lost my dad 13years ago and I always have shut off from it. I wouldn't talk about him, I would try not to think about him. I also went into I need to care for my mum and older sister. I'm 27 now and have been going through anxiety which took me to get counselling and most of it is to do with the fact I haven't grieved for him. I have blocked it so much that my anxiety is a defence mechanism. I'm terrified as well to let in the pain and the sadness. We have to thought, somehow because otherwise we are going to always feel like we need to be busy or caring for someone else. We need to put ourselves first and let this in. Maybe it will be anger or sadness but trust me blocking it.. well you may end up in my position and it isn't great. Start counselling if you can, there is no harm in trying. They can guide you, if not then come on here and ask for peoples advice or just talk about him. You aren't alone in not wanting to face the truth, I promise you that much!

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