We lost my Dad quite suddenly at the beginning of December 2018.
I returned to work quite quickly after because I thought keeping busy would help & then took a few days off for the funeral.
After the funeral I got stuck straight back into work, Christmas & New Year have been and gone, the time feels like it’s running away.
People comment & say they don’t know how I’ve composed myself, how I’ve been happy and cheerful at work etc. It’s such a front & the truth is I do it because I feel like it’s expected, that I can’t have a bad day or cry. When I do confide in some, they just don’t understand & tell me how strong I am. Deep down inside I’m wanting someone to just give me a cuddle but yet at the same time I don’t want to burden people with my feelings or that it’s all I want to talk about.
I compare myself to others and the loss they have experienced, the time, how it happened or how old the person was. Like I feel there are always others who have it worse so I’m not sure how I should feel.
I think what I’m trying to say is, im thinking about speaking to a counsellor but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, when others may need it more than me.