I am new to this group .
On Tuesday will be my boyfriend birthday, I absolute dread this day as I just wish so much that he was here with me.
Loosing him has completely broke me I’m no longer the person I was when he was here, I am really struggling to cope without him, is there any advise out there on how to cope
Coping without my boyfriend
Hi, I recently had my birthday, the 1st without my husband & decided to ignore it which helped, for my husbands birthday I have booked a few days away so i can just spend his birthday in peace thinking what we did on his last birthday etc.. all I can say is that it may help to spend his birthday also be in thought & maybe do some sort of tribute to him, lighting a candle for example, I lost my husband 3 months ago & like you didn’t feel like I was the same person, I think this is shock, I’m beginning to feel more like myself again, on coping all i can say whatever you feel will be normal & try to help yourself a bit by giving yourself a treat like an expensive bubble bath or a cream cake or listen to some uplifting music? I think it’s onlymtime that can help us come to terms with thI go.
Cheesecake, preferably lemon, is the universal panacea for all ills. Cream cakes come second. I don't know about bubble baths though. Might try one one day.
Sorry I'm not being fasteuis just trying to bring a little light int the gloom.
It's done it again. I didn't press the reply button it just published.
As I was saying. It's so difficult to raise a smile at times. I have not laughed for well over 10 months. That has just occurred to me. I'm not proud of that fact but I'm certainly not happy about it. I used to have a good sense of humour and my wife and I would have some very funny laughins at what we did as we got older.
I do smile, yes very often at people who help, and I know it's appreciated.
How do you have a sense of humour in this situation. I suppose it will return.
I'm so glad to hear you seem to be feeling better. I know we can and do improve. Never forget, but not allow memories to cause too many problems. 3 months is so short a time. After 10 months I still am in shock. Not as bad but it's still there. I know there's improvement. They say it takes time. An old cliche but true.
Hi Leighk. I do hope my absence of a reply to your first post did not seem inconsiderate. I realise now I replied to the other posts when it was your thread. Please forgive me.
The only advice I can give is hang in there. Go with the pain. Grief is a natural process that we all must face at some stage in life. If you resist the emotions and try to ignore them or push them away you will make things worse. I'm not saying wallow in them, look ahead by all means. But don't upset yourself because you are upset and grieving. Not easy at the moment I know.
This may all sound it bit irrelevant, but I am coming up to six months since my wife died and it does get better. A little at a time.
Once again, my sincere apologies for cutting in on your thread. Take care and Blessings.
I took your advice and went away for a few days over his birthday and drank a lot of Prosecco, it did help slightly, I laid flowers before I left which was so difficult as I hate being there as I never want to leave him which I know sounds stupid as I type it.
You are forgiven, no need to apologise at all.
Thank you for your words and I’ll definitely try and see how it goes, I do have a tendency to try and not face my feelings but I do need to face up to it