Dream or real


Oh that,s so sad but beautiful at the same time,I,m so pleased you didn't,miss that sign,but then I think every sign is orchestrated to happen at the perfect time.I agree it,s when signs are spontaneous that they can take your breath away,My most amazing have been when I,m distracted doing something else.I continue to be overwhelmed as I learn there is so much more to this life than I ever knew possible,and that each new day,could show me something else.I agree it is a comfort,like yourself I want my hubby here,but it has helped to soften the sadness along the way,and like you I feel blessed to be a part of it x

Just wanted to add,because I believe in spirit,I also try my best to live a spiritual life too, I felt that I am grateful to be given signs and I feel I should give something back.I have found the spiritual way of living is keeping me more focused and aware of life around me in the moment
So I have lost interest in materialistic life,and it is quite liberating,I now only buy what I need,if something needs replacing,I buy food that I need but seem to be more aware of waste,also I buy books,canvas and paints ,things that give me comfort and knowledge.I also try to understand people more,I'm far from perfect,but I realise I had to change some aspects of my life.Also the spiritual way is light truth and nature and I'm finding it all helps with my grief.Sorry for rambling,I'm certainly not trying to convert anyone,it's just my personal thoughts on it all xx

In reply to robina

I'm a bit concerned that I've developed a spending problem. Its nearly all related to my hobbies and interests and is very indulgent. I'm too embarrassed to mention it to my kids although it's impossible to hide some of it. My wife was very much against conspicuous consumption and so we put money away for our future. I seem to think I can buy pleasure but, of course, any pleasure is very shortlived. My wife would have been completely amazed in some things I bought as I just left household things to her. I couldn't even tell her what colour the curtains are in any room. I didn't realise that grief could be so transformative. Maybe she just was able to control my selfish urges.

Hate to say it I'm the same, bought crap, it's a comfort thing I think. I feel guilty about spending money as it was her money. But look on the other side better to spend it than give it to the government x

I do get continuing comfort from some of it but I didn't need it as such. I bought a Harris Tweed chair and I wasn't exactly short of chairs, more paintings by favourite artists and more planned, books to gather dust, and more I won't mention. I don't buy on impulse which is something I suppose.... Well not always. One thing I wonder about is I spend lots on treating kids and grandkids and I know my wife wouldn't object to that but I wonder if I'm just buying their continuing interest.
As I've just gone 69 I justify things to myself by thinking I may not have much longer to spend it. There's no pockets in shrouds or as my brother in law said.... He doesn't want to be the richest man in the graveyard.
I suppose I look on everything I have as being my wife's as well but I've distinguished between monthly income going forward and savings which might be fair enough.

Your a good man, I haven't made that distinction I'm just spending in the hope il be gone soon enough.

I wouldn't feel too concerned as your hobbies and interests obviously promote your wellbeing,they are a good ,sensible spend.I buy my books as i know they contribute to my learning,and my canvas and paints etc provide a therapy.Personally i realised i didn't need more stuff,i don't like shopping anyway,the things i need are usually bought online.I can only wear so many clothes at one time.I do like flowers and plants though,i think they add something to my surroundings.I suppose if i think i need or gain something deeper from an item then i would buy,it's the pointless spend i think ,something you would never use or you've already got 10 of them in the cupboard.I also don't really save ,can't work out whether that's bad or good.x

Interestingly I read somewhere that it's a common thing for widows/widowers to spend. Not sure why that is. I am now trying to cut back having bought not one but three chairs I didn't really need. Most of my spending has been on the house.

Spending seems to be my hobbie also. I changed the car for a bigger that I don’t really need. I spend far too much on kids and grandkids but I know Margaret would have done the same. I don’t think I care about money as I used too as life can change so quickly as we all know so I think I’ll keep on spending and try to enjoy it.
As you say I can’t take it with me.

Yes I have to cut back. I'm still working so can't really afford to be so extravagant. Being self employed a lot of my life means I haven't got such a great pension. But the way I feel at the moment do I care not really , what can happen that's any worse than this.