My husband died 6 days ago. I don’t know what to do. Although I have suffered grief before in my life which was horrendous, I have never felt this way, or anything like it. Safe to say it is unbearable. The emptiness and loneliness is just awful and I cannot imagine my life without him.

In reply to cw13

Dear Collette, I am so very sorry for your loss. You are at the beginning of this journey of grief and inexplicable pain. Stay on this forum, keep reading, keep posting. This site has helped me enormously and to be where I am today. It is now more than 19 months since my husband passed and I accept that I will be grieving forever but that's ok. I write to my husband regularly in a journal and this gives me great comfort - I tell him everyday stuff plus how I'm feeling, how much I love him and miss him. This book is very special to me, nobody else sees it, it's between me and him. It really works for me.
It's very early days yet Collette, for you. Take one step at a time. This is a rollercoaster journey and some days will be worse than others or perhaps I should say, more positively, that some days will be better than others. At the moment you will be fumbling around in a complete fog , as many describe it. Know that you can do this and slowly you will emerge from the fog into the mist. I feel that I am now walking in the mist and I think that probably, to some extent, I will be forever. However, I now have times when a little bit of sunshine bursts through and my husband is with me every step of the way. Most importantly, I must say that I feel closer than ever to my husband and my love for him continues to grow, our relationship continues in death just as it did in life. My husband died but he's not dead, oh no, he's far from dead.
Take care Collette. Sending love and a big hug xx

Thank you, Kate so much for your words. Yes, already I know that I will have this empty and incomplete feeling for the rest of my life and I guess that just shows me how precious he and our relationship was to me. I cannot imagine life without him but, I love your idea of a journal. I too believe he will stay close by and that my love for him will continue to grow in the future and then one day I will be with him again.

I really appreciate your time responding to my post. Thank you. I too am very sorry that you feel this pain yourself as you try to deal with your own loss. Take care x

Dear Collette, such early days and already I sense some positive thinking from you. I admire that. Please do start your journal and let me know how you get on. I don't write in mine every single day although at first I did. Sometimes I read them back from the earlier days and it's then I can see how far I've come. Xx

Hi Kate are there any books you would recommend for sceptics who are experiencing things and want to know more x

In reply to Stevie wee

Hi Stevie.
I've nearly finished "Waking Up" by Sam Harris. It's a book about spirituality without the religion, although he does reference Buddhism frequently. It's quite thought provoking. He is an atheist.

Hi might give it a try I do believe in God and I just wonder whether the two beliefs conflict with each other. Clinging on to hope I suppose. Be easier if she could tell me staight

In reply to Stevie wee

Sorry. I've no idea. I've not spoken to any religious people about it but I can't see it being particularly challenging or provocative. A fellow humanist recommended it to me. As I said the author is an atheist but I don't think many atheists push their ideas. He just tells it as it is.

In reply to Stevie wee

Hello Stevie. I think religion and spirituality can be linked although perhaps some Christians would frown upon that thought. I consider myself a Christian but am certainly swayed towards spirituality. I have read a couple of books by Gordon Smith - he's a spiritualist or medium. Another very good book is Proof of Heaven by Eban Alexander - this one might appeal to YorkshireLad too as the author is a neurosurgeon. I think Stevie, that Robina is perhaps better placed with recommendation than I - she seems to be more knowledgeable about such things. Great that you're showing interest. Xx

I have also read Proof of heaven on Kate,s recommendation and found it very good.
It has got me thinking differently as I was always sceptical but now I’m open to anything.