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Hello William. I think the fact that it's written by a neurosurgeon, so therefore a scientist, is encouraging.

Hi Kate
I agree when someone from a science background and who only believed what he could prove to be fact can change his mind he has got me thinking a little differently.
Thanks for the book I did enjoy it. I read a lot more now than I ever had done mostly about grief and how to cope but have also started to read about spirituality and afterlife. Robina,s posts have also been very helpful.
Take care William

In reply to cw13

Hi
I am So sorry for your loss.
It’s so recent and your pain is very raw and nothing I say will ease any of your pain.
My wife died on 2nd July aged 51 from bowel cancer three weeks after diagnosis and I can remember it as if it was yesterday. I won’t lie it hasn’t got any easier for me and don’t know if it ever will. I have no idea how I’ve reached 7 months but I just survive a day at a time at the beginning it was one hour at a time. Please keep talking on here it will help and somebody will always reply. Grab as much support as you can and please take care.
William

Thanks again William. I don’t know how I’ve survived a week to be honest. I’m so sorry for you too. You’re right it’s an hour at a time for me right now, in fact today was probably nearer 30 mins. Oh my....

In reply to Crazy Kate

I think I may give neurosurgeons a miss for a while as I've talked to a few over the past four years either before of after my wife had bits of her brain removed. They were all amazing people and I was really grateful for their skills. I will put the book on my list for a future read.

Yes I’m sure you’ve heard and seen enough of that topic for a while.

I got up this morning crying but, I shoved on some clothes and got up. I looked around the house and thought I should do some of this housework. At least some of it. I mopped the floors and now I’m sat here sobbing wondering how on earth im going to get through this. I wonder if this is the straw that broke the camels back for me. Strength I’ve always found throughout my life before during difficult times feels as if it’s all gone. Much of that strength was given to me by my husband. Just knowing he was there and had my back was always enough without him particularly doing anything.

I know people will say it’s such early days and I realise that myself but, we know our own minds and bodies don’t we and I’ve no idea how I’m going to live without him. I’m not sure at all that I can.

Thank you for listening.

In reply to cw13

Dear Collette, you can survive and you will..

'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.'

You started the day off well, keep on keeping busy - distraction is helpful but crying is ok too. Maybe start that journal today, talk to your husband. I wish I could tell you that this grief thing is a doddle but I can't. It's the hardest thing in the world and I can't even tell you it gets easier because that's not right either. Grief is forever. What I can tell you is that we do get better at it. I can smile again, laugh and even sing again. It's taken a long time for me to sing again though. I used to sing all the time to the point of driving my husband mad. I can now smile at that memory.

Books too have been a massive help to me. There is a thread going, under the General Chat category, which recommends certain books. I've read books on grief and spirituality.

But know this Collette, you are not alone. We on this forum are all travelling this same journey.
Sending you a big hug xx

You’re so kind Kate. Thank you x

I have to tell you all this; I’ll try to be brief. Several years ago I lost my wedding ring, it had become too big. I wore my eternity ring only. I ‘misplaced’ that some time later. Although we were always pretty sure it was in the house somewhere, after much searching, on and off, and never finding it we eventually wondered if it was actually lost out of the house.

Today I have been speaking to people at the church whilst arranging the funeral for my amazing husband. Some of the information I gave i.e. where was he born, I later questioned. Tonight I thought I’ll just check his birth certificate and make sure he really was born where I said and I haven’t dreamt it (he was)! Whilst getting out the birth certificate I came across a shoe box and when I opened it there was my eternity ring smiling at me. Safe to say I’m the happiest I’ve been all week.

I wanted to share my smile with all of you x

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