feeling down

Dreading the next couple of weeks coming up, on the 29th July my hubby would have been 60, my 60th birthday is 3 days after, dont know how im going to get through those 2 days, he passed away in December, its been so hard since then, i have good days then bang all those waves come crashing around me,we had so many plans this time last year, but looks like i,ll be spending my birthday alone, my family live 2 hours drive away, but are working, so wish hubby was around.

I don't understand the selfishness of family. Mine are local but they might as well be on the moon. My partner was in hospital from 8th January til he died in may. Out of 5 children and many grandchildren and great grandchildren he didn't get many visitors. I was there for many hours every day. I've been told by 2 lots of people they would come to attend the garden. Have they been, no. Just let us know if you want anything. Of course you want something you shouldn't need to be told. Promises of taking me out. No that's not happened either. Do they phone, ring or visit. Again no. Oh i'll help you clean the motorhome and help with the advert for you. The list goes on. I was also left on my own the day after my partners funeral. I try so hard every day to not let anything upset me but inevitably it does, and its usually something to do with my family. It makes it worse when you see other families sticking together over trivial things. It was my birthday while my partner was in hospital but didn't even get a card off my eldest son just a text next day saying he'd forgotten just as in previous years. Something what upset me just as much was Alans son called at our house with a card and some flowers, but why the hell didn't he come to see his dad as we've never really got on that well anyway. It still upsets me now with the lack of visitors he had. It would have been Alans birthday next month and I like you will spend it alone. Your family shouldn't have any excuse about living a 2 hour drive away. That is nothing. Alan and I would go out every day somewhere in the car sometimes that would be 2 or even 3 hour drive away. Maybe our families will get their comeuppance one day. Just to add they don't even show any concern even though my weight plummeted from nearly 11 stone to just over 8. Light a candle play some music and make something he liked to eat when your birthday comes round. I will try and do the same. Thinking of you and hope you cope alright and try not to be too upset.

Evening
So sorry to hear your sad news.
Sounds like the next couple of weeks are going to be very hard or should I say harder than usual.
My husband died in January so I know how you are feeling. It is so very hard ah!
I have no family and live alone in a little flat. I find every day hard and lonely.
I have waves come over me too. One minute I seem to be ok next in floods of tears.
Cant get use to this alone life, hate it.
Please message and keep messaging on this site as it has helped me and I am sure it will help you. Just knowing people are out there really helps ah!
I and others are here for you as we know how you are feeling.
I am sending you a big birthday hug. Do message if you want to would love to hear from you. Take care love Suex

In reply to daisy-janet

You know I don't know which is worse. Being like me with no family or having a family that don't care. Unfortunately we live in a selfish world. I used to think it was down to embarrassment, but I'm not sure now.
I hear it so often that once the funeral is over they all melt away with vague promises about help. My wife had a friend who was a fairly regular visitor. She came to the funeral last December with promises to ring me. Nothing! I could ring her but I'm the one in trouble.
But how can they know the pain without having been there. 'You are doing so well' some say. Am I? We all try to keep going and it may appear that we are 'doing well' when all the time we are in pain.
That's not to say we should walk around miserable because that inevitably leads to even less friends and can make others miserable, and we have no right to do that.
But I feel sort of 'boxed in'. I know you will understand. In a shell I want to break out of but cant do it, not yet anyway.
Some days there is a ray of hope, but the contrast is so great when I get down. The good old YO YO effect clicks in. Up and down. BUT, I have noticed the ups are a bit longer and the downs not so long. Ho Hum!!! Life can be a real bind at times.
Bless you.

Dear milliemoo. Very sorry for your loss. I understand how you must feel. We all do. You will go through these days no matter how painful they are. Very sorry it's so difficult.

Very hard to go through these anniversaries, but people seem to manage like we have since we lost them. Don't know how!
My husbands would have been 61 this week on the 17th. I have been so sad, confused and lonely just thinking that we celebrated his 60th only 12 months ago and I lost him 8 months ago. I am going through a really bad time and i feel so empty that it physically hurts.

I have lovely nieces and nephews and family far away and all are very supportive. They lost too a man that was like their father, best friend and a kind snd real gentleman.
I miss that physical contact. I miss my husband's strong caring hugs. Miss his voice and laughfter.
I tried to be busy, and meet people but at the end of the day i come back to a silent empty place. Need my best friend and soul mate.

Be thinking of you on the 29th. You won't be on your own.

Last year Sunday 29th we went for a beautiful walk in the Constable country in Suffolk.

Take care xxx De

Hi ... I’m sorry your family are like that. Admin feel the same but because I have no family left. Yesterday was two years since I saw my son take his last breath at the age of 36. I had to do the day alone as my husband had died 29th April. He was only ill, diagnosed and died in the hospice within four weeks. Our older son had died nearly seven years before aged 33 ... so now only me left. My house used to be bustling g and busy full of laughter ..: now it’s so quiet. I cry at everything and have no motivation. I know there is only us who can do this but I understand d that loneliness and hurt. It’s a horrible feeling. I hope you find a way through. Love from me, Sue xx

Category: