Its been 9 months

Its been 9 months since my husbsnd died he had a 6 month battle with stomach cancer which was traumatic to watch i just feel like my life has ended i go to work and pretend im ok i do this with everyone if they ask i tell them im ok when in realiry im dying inside i am 46 and was with my husband for 32 years we was child hood sweethearts and nowi really dont know who i am . Nothing truly matters any more im not sure if this is grief or the effects of watching something so traumatic its messed my head up so much

In reply to Sammiejo

Hi
I’m sorry for your loss.
It’s 6 months since my wife died I only had 3 weeks from diagnosis of metastatic bowel cancer till she died. She was 51 and I’m 52 we were together 30 years. I know exactly how you feel about the trauma of it all I can’t get the last 3 weeks with her out of my head.
Please take care
William

I know what you mean I lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack it happened right in front of me. I still have flashbacks I also say I'm ok when I am certainly not. My head is messed up hate my new life he was only 48 I feel cheated we have been through a traumatic event I try and get through each day as best as I can.
Take care
Christine x

Hi william
I am sorry for your loss i too suffer from the last 4 weeks of his life it plays over and over in my head . His wish was to die at home so i looked after him and witnessed a slow painful death which traumatised me . But the worse thing was to watch our childrens heart break and know this has changed There lives forever . I lost my father 15 months before but he was in his 80's and had lived a good life and i had 45 years wirh him in my life my childten lost there father at the ages of 26 and 28 and he was an amazing father . I want to thank you for your reply its really good to know that tbis constant replay of the last weeks is normal .

In reply to Sammiejo

Hi
I have three children 28 24 and 21 and a little granddaughter our first who was born 5 weeks after Margaret died and she never got to meet. It’s all so wrong.
William

Hi william
I can relate to that we have 3 wonderful grandsons our youngest hadrian was born exactly one week after his death hes also named after him my husband was adrian i myself found it so hard to be happy at the birth adrian died the 19th april hadrian was born the 26th .he tried so hard to stay with us especially as it was our sons first child life is so cruel sometimes

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