Ive lost my soulmate

I lost my partner 9 weeks ago. He was 54 I'm 47 and he was diagnosed with Cancer in May, he was receiving treatment and we had hope but we were told it had spread aggressively to his brain and nothing more could be done, he passed away at home holding my hand 10 days later. The pain is unexplainable, I miss him terribly and feel robbed of our future together. I feel in a permanent fog, I am finding it difficult to go out the house to do everyday normal tasks like shopping because life is not normal and never will be again.
I have told my family I don't want cards this year but today I got my first Christmas card to both us from someone who doesn't know. I wish I could sleep and Christmas would be over but on the other hand I don't want the new year to start without him.

Hi I understand what you are going through. I lost my partner suddenly in May to a heart attack he was only 48 I can only say take one day at a time and get lots of support. It is so hard my life has changed forever and I want my old life back. I miss him so much this site is helping me a lot it is been only 9 weeks for you it's still very raw.
Take care
Christine x

I am in a similar situation. My husband died 12 weeks ago at the age of 51. He fought cancer for 5 years. If anything my grief seems to be more acute now than it was a few weeks ago. I have a 10 year old daughter who I have to try and hold it together for. This is good but I feel bad when I can’t give her what she needs. I miss him so much and the pain is terrible. Let’s just hope it gets better. Feeling your pain too. Hang in there. Gina

I too lost my lovely husband on 2 November 2018 after a two year battle with cancer. He was 60. I keep going for my 21 year old daughter, but my heart has been ripped out of my body. I don't want to eat, don't want to get dressed, just cannot be bothered with anything.

In reply to Gem71

Dear Gem71
I'm so sorry for you, I lost my darling husband Ian 16 weeks ago to cancer. We were lucky as he had 3yrs 8mths until he passed. He was nearly 61 yrs. We have been robbed of our future with them, our dreams of what we were going to do etc. The pain is unbearable, he is constantly on my mind. I no longer want to die to be with him as I know he would want me to live my life and care for our grandchildren. I miss him terribly and life will never be the same. Christmas songs are playing everywhere. Wish I couldn't hear them. We all feel the same here, I'm sure, but we just have to carry on with our broken hearts. We will be with them again someday until then just think how lucky we are to have had such perfect love in our lives that will live on forever. Love that will never ever die. Love and hugs
Julie xx

Gem
How lovely, yes how lucky are we?. I am heart broken to have lost the love of my life. He made me complete but how lucky are we to have had that. I know he loved me and he knew I loved him. And although as I write this my heart is breaking and I am struggling to see forward. I am so pleased he was mine and I had that time with him.

I lost my husband on the 22nd November very suddenly the funeral is on Thursday,I don’t how I’m going to cope. I’m holding it together at the moment but for how long ido t know. I have my mum and sister for support but I want my husband

I'm so sorry for your loss Angie, there is no denying the funeral is going to be very hard, but you will cope. I wanted to make sure my partner would be proud of me if he was watching over me, so many people commented what a beautiful service it was and how it summed him up perfectly. Of course, I was devasted and it all felt so surreal but seeing how many people was at the service brought me some comfort of how loved he was. The hard part for me is that everyone else seems to be getting on with their lives now but for me my life feels over. My sister too has been my support, I really don't know how I would have coped without her but I know what you mean , you just want you love back.

In reply to Angie m

I lost my husband 19th May 36 hours after being told he had a malignancy, I wanted to make sure I did him proud on the day of his funeral, everyone said how lovely it was, I felt I was in a glass tunnel filled with thick mist. It was a day I went through on auto pilot, not taking anything in, yet a day that I shall never forget. It is very very raw for you at present, and you'll worry if you can get through the day when you say your final goodbye to his presence on earth, you will get through it, may all be a blur on the day, but you will remember it and remember your loving husband for the rest if your days. I am truly sorry for your loss, 6 months on and it is still raw for me, one if my friends lost her husband in January this year, she came to my husband's funeral 4 months later, it brought her husband's flooding back, not that she'd forgotten. It was a great thing she did by attending so soon after her own loss. Everyone who is meant to be at your husband's will be and you will know you will have done him proud, blessings ☆

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