The only one left...

I am struggling with this...I am now the only one left and this wasn't meant to be this way around, I was meant to go first before Richard, as I had made him promise that when I go, my 3 dogs ashes get scattered with mine somewhere where we have been back home in Bedfordshire, in woodland amongst the trees and the birds.. Richard would have kept to his promise if he was still here...I have gone from someone who had a good man in my life, 3 gorgeous dogs ( fur babies ) a lovely house that Richard was at his happiest in, as I know he never wanted to leave it but he done this for me once I was diagnosed 11th April 2015 with my PPMS, Richard also passed away at home 11th April 2019, our first dog passed away in our kitchen 11th April 2009..
Why I am the only one left, it was not meant to be this way, he had more of a zest for life, thought he would make his 100's, he never felt an old man at his age of 74, something I always had the fun of ribbing him of, as I was younger than he was at 68...He never saw his death coming on that fateful morning, nor did I..He would never have left me, he always felt it was his duty to take care of, look after me till death do us part...only death to him was a long way away...

Jackie..

Jackie I do so feel for you I lost my partner nearly four years ago. I still feel unbelievably wretched. I am new to this group and don’t yet feel ready to share my story. I too feel it wasn’t meant to be this way he was only in his early sixties. We were meant to retire. I just want to scream it’s not fair. I don’t know any answers and don’t know how I keeep on going but I do. After not being able to have a dog I now have one who is my only family and I do find him a comfort. Dogs are so special aren’t they always happy to see you and give affection. I can only wish you well and hope you can find some peace. xx

Bethany...
...bless you for responding...So sorry to hear you are still suffering after the loss of your hubby coming on 4 years ago..Yes what I cant get my head round is that the things we so take for granted that we know one day will come to its end but seem a long long way away so we dont worry about it unless it creeps up on us suddenly out of the blue...
I am struggling coming to terms that one by one one of our-my dogs had gone, now Richard has gone too...On the day-morning neither of us was expecting what was soon to happen...The day before was the same as the day before, the night time going to bed expecting to see each other when we each got out of our separate beds later, and go through another day similar to the day before but on this occasion it was very different, the end of our 19 year journey, stopped abruptly, taken our-my future away...
Bethany share your story in your own time..and do post on here again...
Yes I was definitely a dog person, still am, still would be if I hadn't of been diagnosed with this MS...I dont want to see my dog owning days are over, I hope to somehow have a dog, dogs in my life once again...
Jackie..

I am sitting in Waterstones with a coffee. It was one of the many places i and my partner used to go on a sunday. Whatever people say it is not the same by yourself. I too was looking forward to our retirement years together and feel cheated when you watch other couples.

Thanks Jackie It is such a personal thing- grief in that I can’t know exactly how you feel and vice verse but we both know it’s hell. Over the course of my life I have lost all my family but nothing compares to this. Before I got my little dog I dreaded coming home as rhee I’d definitely a different feel in a house without another living thing in it. I miss the most stupid things such as if I got up to go to the loo whether he was in bed or still downstairs he always said “Alright love”? I do try as I am sure you do to think of the happy memories but all too often it brings tears. Never though the last part of my life would be like this. Trying to concentrate on my little dog who is a blessing. In the past I have lost beloved pet dogs but have always found that getting another one is the best thing. They don’t replace the love you have for other dogs.but they are such a comfort as they are all so different. Take care . Off to bed now work tomorrow x

In reply to Prue

It can’t be the same I find myself thinking about things we used to do. It’s so damn hard being without the one we loved above all else . We loved to travel and I am trying to carry on. I get v emotional when I go somewhere we used to go. Perhaps I shouldn’t revisit places wheee we went together but I do in the hope that some of that happiness will still be there. Take care xx

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