The realisation that this is forever

Pages

Thank you Jen, I do feel my husband sent a sign he was ok as he would know how sad I would be bearing in mind I lost my dad only 6 months before, it makes me feel better that I feel I have prove as I have thought of all other explanations & there was no reason for the ornament to fall, this happened 3 days after my husbands death, going back in time I remember when my mother-in-law died 2-4 days after my husband said he saw small globes of light moving around before they went, he couldn’t offer any expiation, hence why i asked him to send me a sign if he passed before me.

You will receive many more signs and when you least expect them. They may be random signs or signs that follow a pattern that is specific to you and your husband,

Blessings.
Jen☆

In reply to TrishaF

I'm seven months in and it doesn't get any better. Do you feel robbed yes. Do you get up in the morning yes you have too as hard as it is you have to. Life will never be the same we step through every day and put a smile on our faces knowing inside we feel like crap. We have to protect our children thats what we do as we need to let them think we are coping when in truth we are not. I call myself the great pretender. I haven't posted on this for several months because it hurts to see others suffering to close to home for me. I'm not sure it will get any better but let's hope it does for all of us. Xxxx

I wish I could express my feelings so eloquently.

I have joined the gym for 2 reasons. Firstly, it's something he would never have done and, secondly it gives me a chance to 'forget' for an hour that he is gone.

I can't work at the moment as every time I am not totally busy I start to cry. We ran our own business and to not have him with me all day is so unbelievably hard.

Thank you for the opportunity to talk about this with you all. I gave no children and my family is not local so support is hard to come by.

In reply to TrishaF

It’s so hard, I am seven months down the line since Gethin passed and I still don’t know how to go forward, everything I do is on auto pilot I just fumble through the days doing the normal routine things then when the evening comes I just can’t bear the silence and loneliness. It’s hard to motivate oneself when there seems little or no purpose in doing things. Like you I just try to think he is in another room and will be back shortly, of course he doesn’t come back but the pretence makes it easier if just for a little while. Keep strong Carmen x

In reply to TrishaF

I also lost my husband 12 weeks ago and like you I like to think he is around! I am just finding it very difficult to come to terms with never ever seeing him again, there is just nobody on this planet that can bring him back! I expect you feel the same that it is a feeling that nobody will ever understand until maybe one day they have to go through it! They say time is a great healer but it is something that is hard to believe at this moment in time! x

Yes 12 weeks for me too...I am realising a little too late what a special person my Richard is-was, I truly meant it when I say, I will never ever find another Richard Auburn...I wish I had appreciated him more when he was here with me...Now all i seem to be telling him ( amongst my crying ) is, " i do love you, I always did love you.."

Jackie...

Jackie...

Dear Carmen

I still have my daughter living at home which is a great comfort to me - and she too is often very sad. But of course there are days when she is out so I am on my own and it is a case of keeping busy to stop the thoughts. As soon as the thoughts creep in then the tears do too. And of course everyone on here knows that some days are much much harder than others.

I am going to try going back to work next week - just for a couple of half days to start with and I really hope it will help. I am dreading it and especially meeting all my colleagues - so have asked them just to say Hi how are you rather than offer condolences - I do not want to cry in the office.
The pain is always there - I just need to learn to live with it I guess. In the meantime, I will keep up the pretence of him being somewhere else in the house.
Take care
Trisha xx

Dear Janetirene
Thank you for responding to my post. You are right, I do not think anyone understands if they have not been through this. I definitely had no idea and think how I could have been better with my mum when my lovely dad died. I obviously grieved for my dad - but at the time had no idea how my mother felt.
Yes they say same time is a healer - but I do not think time will heal this one. I think it will just allow it to be less painful - well that is what I am hoping.
And you are right, I cannot let myself think past the next couple of days - the future is no place for me at the moment!
And as for that ache deep inside - that is now part of me.
Take care
Trisha xx

Hi Trisha ... I love your post hun ... your love shines through. That’s the thing .., how do we make a new life for ourselves when we do t want to even think about living anyone else or changing our lives! It’s so hard and so conflicting!

My husband of 43 years died 29th April and both my adult sons have died too ... both in their thirties ... so now it’s just me! I do t gave the answers ... all I do is cry and miss him but put a fake face on when out. But you are right we ca t rely on others and no one can do it for us. I hope you find a way forward .,, I hope you re gain an interest in life ... sending love from me to you x

Pages

Category: