The realisation that this is forever


In reply to ❤️

Thankyou ... it’s so hard for all of us it really is ... so much sadness and sorrow but together we have to find a way through this... I am here any time for anyone. I think we just have to let ourselves go through it until we see a tiny glimmer of light and then run towards that light... I dont know. Love to all here, Sue x

Same here Sue I think it is good to talk about it and I am always ready to talk to anybody going through this terrible time! As I have said many times unless you have gone through it you really don’t know what it is like! Janet x

Hi XX it’s only a few weeks since my husband died ... it’s a horrible horrible feeling ... missing that physical presence, holding his hand, someone next to me at night ... he was such a good kind man. We went through so so much together ... losing both our sons... losing all his family ... but we were together. Now it’s jyst me and our cat Felix. I do t have the answer I can only go on when I lost our sons ... I just trudged through life u TIL one day the sun came out a tiny bit for me ... I saw that tiny glimmer of light abd tried moving towards it. But I had my husband by my side. I think that’s all we can do. There are people who u dersrabd. I have a hand full of really true friends da ... I have isolated myself and pushed and pushed them but they are quietly still there ... a strong presence in the background. I am lucky really ... all my family live in Dorset abd im in Lincolnshire ... I have a sister in Leeds who comes off weekends. At the moment I have been unable to go to stay with any of them...I just want to be a hermit and feel the pain I think. Love to all of you going through this pain. Sue xx

Thank you Janet ... I really think it’s one of those things that no one understands until they, unfortunately, are faced with it. We are the blind leading the blind I think just doing the best we can in the only way we can. Love Sue x

Yes you are so right! I now think of my mum many years ago when I lost my dad, I really had no idea how she must have felt until now!! I can honestly say I have never experienced anything as bad as this, it is terrible to lose anybody but to lose your husband it is like someone has cut your right arm off!! I have had one day since he passed away in April that I haven’t cried, terrible day yesterday just cried ALL day! Take care, Janet x

In reply to Pedro521

Ahhhh I know exactly how you feel, just that closeness you have with your husband that you don’t have the same with others! I am off to a bereavement group this morning which is somewhere you can talk and listen to people in the same position! Take care Janet x

Janet I hope the Group helps you hun. Sue x

Hi Trisha,

Thank you for your reply. I have no idea how to move forward but I have those 43 years of loving him and him loving me. He was such a kind caring man I loved the bones of him. It’s just horrible here without him. But have to find a way I suppose. Some people don’t find love like that in a lifetime I suppose. I read somewhere that grief is the price we pay for love ... so true.

I hope you can find a way ... it all seems so hopeless specially at night I think.

Love Sue x

Here I am again sitting and talking to my Richard, facing his photo on the sideboard and asking him " do you remember the watermill back home where we sat outside and had a coffee not long before we moved? " telling him that I will be trying to get back towards home but I wont be able to come to the water mill again as it will upset me too much knowing you wont be with me next time.." oh I am finding this so so hard, coming to terms that he is gone from my life forever now..


Last night I dreamt about my husband and we were talking about how to tell everyone that he was alive and laughing that everyone would think I was such a drama queen telling them he had died.
For a few seconds when I woke I felt whole again but now I feel his loss more than ever. It's been 7 weeks but already feels like a lifetime.