Still can't believe he's gone


Dear Maggie
I am so sorry - what an awful time - both in the way you lost him and how you are having to cope now with the antiquated system and those that work in it.

I lost my husband suddenly too - absolutely no warning and coping with the shock and grief is very hard. Sometimes I still cannot believe it and expect him to come in - and then the wave of emptiness hits. I am so sorry it is so hard to go through and some days are much darker than others. It has been just over 9 weeks for me and some days are easier to get through - but the loss still slams me against the wall when I realise that our future together is no more. And it is all about the little things.
It is awful how long term partners are treated - and the law does need to change. I was never a believer in marriage - who needs a bit of paper to hold you together. However after 37 years he persuaded me - and I am so glad I did as it has avoided all the nonsense you are going through. That bit of paper never made the slightest difference - I did not change my name and I could not tell you the date as I was determined that the last 37 years would be ruined.
I have found a lot of comfort from the kind people on this forum - and I hope you will too. No one else seems to understand.
Take care
Trisha xx

Hi Maggie, i am so sorry for your loss and it must have been so stressful for you. I was married and so didnt have the problem that you had with the certificate, but I found the registrar very cold & clinical. I also found the fact that she cut a piece off Martins passport and his driving license right in front of me very insensitive, it was like she was saying "oh well he is not here anymore, that's that done". I was with my sister and she mentioned it to me the minute we stepped out of the office, so it wasn't just me. They say time is a great healer and I am sure it will get easier with time, but I am struggling this week after Martins death in April 2018. Be kind to yourself and know that we are here for each other and know what you are going through. xx

...from one person to another I can only offer you a ((( HUG ))) i too cannot for the life of me understand why or how, one minute our beloved is here another minute he-she is gone, as i too lost my partner of 20 years ( we were not married either ) suddenly at home whilst sitting in his armchair of a heart blockage, 11th April, same date, 4 years ago I was diagnosed with PP-MS...
I am 68, my Richard was 74..

We are the ones now left to go through our mixture of daily emotions not forgetting the organising and paperwork, we are thrown into a nightmare an overload, no wonder we go to pieces..we are not only dealing with our loss of our beloveds but everything else too...