Struggling

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I lost my husband on 2nd May 2019, I'm 51 years old and his death was sudden and unexpected. I woke up and found him. I'm really struggling to cope with the thought of never seeing him again. I don't feel like I can move on.. I've not been able to register his death and there is no medical cause as yet. I feel like I'm waiting for him to come even though deep down I know he never will. We would have been married 7 years on 12th June and we had planned to go away together.. I'm dreading that day - I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him . This is so painful and I feel so lost and alone ( even though I have family nearby)

I am so so sorry to hear of your husband's sudden death and your disbelief to be in this situation .
Even when we have fore warning the shock is indescribable.
I hope.you will have love and support from those close to you that will help you through the difficult days ahead.
I'm sorry to tell you that eleven months on after 53 years of marriage I still can't believe I won't see him again.
You are so young to have lost your dearest husband as are many on this site I hope you will find the support you are seeking here.
Xx

I lost the love of my life on 12th April and I am 58 years old and now feel like my life is over! We had our wedding planned for 29th June so as you are dreading your anniversary date I just don’t know how I’m going to get through what would have been our wedding day too...I too feel so lost and alone and can’t move forward at all, it all just seems so unbelievable to me. We had so many plans which behave now been smashed to pieces! I’m so sorry I can’t offer any advice but you are not alone and I know exactly how you are feeling...
Take care,
Lynn

I am 51 years old and I lost my husband on 13th May cardiac arrest...... his funeral was on 7th June. I still can't believe it. Is feel so surreal. I am fortunate as I have support. My brother and friend and parents i I can go to... but I still have to return uen to a house. That is different. But as you say I still expect to hear him walking through the front door. ...
Sending ..hugs....... to everyone in this thread.....

I too lost my husband on 7 May and also cannot seem to accept it yet. His death was sudden and unexpected - he collapsed and died whilst I was at work. We had been together almost all our lives - he was 20 when we met and his 60th birthday was in February. I think I am still in shock and in some way denying it - but maybe that is my way of attempting to cope. I wake up in the mornings - which for me are the worst time - and go over that day in my head again. I can sometimes think of him as being in another room in the house and talk to him all the time and that helps. Some days are worse than overs but I try to keep busy which distracts me a little - gardening, painting, housework. And of course these forums have helped me so much just talking to people who are in the same situation as they are the only ones who truly understand.
Take care and draw what comfort and strength you can from the lovely people here.
Trisha xx

My heartfelt love and blessings go out to everyone who has suffered in this way. It's the initial shock that I found so disconcerting even though my wife was ill for some time before. Even though I was thankful that the suffering was over I still am in mourning and I am sure will be for some time. But I am coping as so many on this site are. I tell myself that since mankind inhabited the earth people have grieved over such loss. That doesn't always ease the pain, but it's a little comfort to know that we are not alone. Years ago, when there were no websites like this, people just talked to friends and helpers who, in those days, seemed to understand more. Now we have websites like this we seem to get little help from others after the initial shock has worn off. But we are all here and we all have this common bond of grief.

But Lynneth, your life is not over although it may feel that way now. This journey through grief is a natural process. Why would it not be? It happens to everyone eventually, and it's those that are left that suffer. Our loved ones are in a far better place than this world that can be so cruel at times. It's that thought that helps me because I know it's true. I said in another post that we should ask 'what would our loved one have wanted.' For us to be miserable? It gives a some relief when the answer comes back 'no, please carry on as I want you to'. My wife was an eternal optimist and even at the end she still talked about coming home. It's painful to even write this, but in case anyone feels the same then believe me, I do know how you feel, we all do. Take care. Blessings, and may some little peace be with you. Just a little!

In reply to jonathan123

Jonathan it that that thought that keeps me going. "What would my husband expect me to do ". I know the answer already

Jonathan,
Thank you so much for your words of comfort even though as you said some of it was painful for you to write, but you went through that pain to bring comfort to others like me...I so appreciate it!
Bless you,
Lynn

So many on this site will try to help. The one thing we all have in common is the intense grief we all are experiencing. I knew I was going to lose Brian and thought that I would be able to cope but the initial shock is still with me seven months on. I accept my life more now though. I accept that Brian will not be coming back but I do not accept that I have lost him. He is with me all the time. I talk to him, ask his advice, write to him. Let him know how I feel or what sort of day I've had. I sometimes even moan at him and blame him for the way I feel.
Stay with this site we all understand and can help.

Pattidot. I like what you said.......

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