Sudden loss.

My wonderful partner of thirty six years died just a few days ago.
He had dementia , I was his sole carer and we were never apart. Physically he was well but suddenly after laughing and chatting with him on Sunday evening he had an aneurism and died in great pain. I go over and over what more I could have or should have done.
This feeling of loss is unbearable and the house is so empty now without him. I would give anything to see him sitting in his chair in front of the fire.
I know the pain is raw from such a recent loss but just reading some of the comments on here has made me realise I am not alone in feeling this despair.
One post suggested writing each day as though talking to your partner. This will be something I shall try as I may feel he is still with me and that might just help.
I feel that my heart has broken and there is no glue in this world that can mend it.

In reply to 12remember

So Sorry to hear of your loss, I write in my journal every day to my husband, i was 15 when we met, we'd been married 50 years, it is still very raw for me, even more so for yourself. Please take care and know that you're not alone in your sadness, there are many on here who know what you are going through, myself included. I've had so much comfort from reading the posts of others and I truly hope you receive the same comfort now and fur as long as you need it. There's no quick fix, we have to cope as best as we can. Blessings and strength in the days that follow ☆

Dear 12 remember
I was replying to another post when I saw yours....I am so very sorry that you have lost your partner....every time I look at this site I am almost overwhelmed at all the new names and wish with all my heart that it wasn't so. I am glad that you are finding posts to help you...everyone on here understands and will offer advice if they can....writing does help and your partner will always live on in your heart...deep breaths and baby steps in the days ahead and somehow you will find the strength you need. Take care x

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Your grief is so new and raw, I hope you have good people around to comfort and help you through .
Having been together so many years and also being his carer will leave a huge gaping hole in your life. I'm sure you did absolutely everything you could to have helped him there's no blame to be taken or guilt to be felt.
The early days will seem a desperate blur of crying and not believing what's happened. It's very hard to accept not seeing or hearing your loved one again, I'm still trying almost six months on.
All you can do now is just get through each hour and pour out your heart to anyone who can listen. I find it helps to voice what's in your head.
Somehow we have to find the strength to carry on , I don't know how but we do . I hope you can find yours in the days ahead.
Thinking of you xx

Thank you for your kind words, my son and sister have been wonderful but I am afraid of becoming a drain on them wanting to talk of my wonderful partner.
There is comfort in contacting people who understand as they are or have been in the same situation.
Thank you all.

Thank you for your kind words, yes he will always live on in my memory but it's hard to see a way forward at the moment.
So many people on this site dealing with loss that this is somewhere where you know people won't judge your deep grief.
Thank you.

In reply to 12remember

I can't add much more to what has been said. If you feel up to it I would recommend a couple of books. One is by Megan Devine and called Its OK that you are not ok. The other I'm part way through and it's called A manual for heartache by Kathy Rentzenbrink. Both authors have walked the walk and so are completely authentic. In the second book she talks about moving from heartbreak to heartache.

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