The very helpful and the couldn't care less...

They say it is when we are at our most vulnerable when we need the most, this is when one finds out who are our friends...Well the minutes of our parkhomes AGM meeting which took place in an outside village hall, a few miles from or isolated parkhome site, one really does neefd a car, well not one person came to see me as to whether I want to go, nor to offer to take me, both myself and Richard pay out annual dues or whatever it costs to be a member...On the other side my lovely Disable Society chairman who is coming to collect me tomorrow eveing so as I can continue going to our fortnightly bingo that we ( me and Richard ) had not long found, and had only recently become members is not only taking and bringing me back but due to me phoning him this morning to verify that all is well for tomorrows collection on both sides, when I had brought up that although I had some cash in my bag, I cant get myself to a cash machine so I can get more, nor can I get myself to a post office to send Richrds sister the family photos she is wanting me to send on to her, the same photos I had ready for her to sort through the days they travelled over from Bedfordshire for Richards funeral, they had to get back home missing the busy 4 motorways traffic which of course I understood, as one is the busy Heathrow... Well this lovely and caring man has also volunteered to take my parcel and post it at the post office for me as soon I am ready...Just shows us the good people who re stepping forwards and the ones who dont give a fig....
Yes as for living on this parkhome site its as if I didn't exist...Maybe they feel that now I am alone, lost Richard, and his car and the dog is re-homed, I will sell up and move as I wont be able to look after myself and with having my mobility illness...how cruel some people can be...Well little do they know, this strengthens me even more...

Jackie..

Yes the brochure of our parkhome minutes was hand dropped by one of the committee embers who lives opposite to me through my letter box a few hours ago, it doesn't even mention my name as " apologies for not attending " maybe under the circumstance of losing Richard they maybe assuming I dont-wont-cant be able to vote or take responsibility...Well I can still read and write, I can still vote on our parkhomes agreements etc, I just think they are cruel and so thoughtless...I feel as if i am invisible...

Jackie...

Hello Jackie

What is wrong with these people. How mean spirited and uncaring. One day these people are likely to be in the same position - unfortunately very few of us have our partners until the end. I know some people find grief awkward - but surely just a knock on the door with a hello how are you doing - I brought you this... would have been enough. - and maybe you should email the chairman or whoever is on this committee and tell them how disappointed you feel and that you have a right to vote - and they should make arrangements for you to do so.

I am so pleased that it all looks set for your trip out tomorrow - and as well as posting your parcel I am sure he would not mind stopping at a cash machine too.

Stay strong in the face of this.

Trisha xx

Trisha...
...I have just read through the AGM " minutes " and there is a mention once again of " potential purchase of a defibrillator "...." following the recent very sad passing of Richard ( surname )... at ( number of my home ) that it be proposed that a defibrillator be purchased and installed, blah blah blah...(name of secretary ) has raised the matter to ( name of on-site parkhome manager, not owner ) The meeting unanimously agreed that the purchase and installation of a defibrillator is an excelant idea...and will be passed onto the owner...Well this is a subject that first came up a good two years ago, we have-had been here three years...Too late for my Richard while they have been huffing and puffing about this....
I know that both me and Richard had voted to have one on site...well only one person can vote if a couple but we was always in agreement...

Jackie..

Tricia..
...you are right, yes he has even said he will take me to a cash machine...I never needed to ask him, he just straight away offered to do so...
I ordered this morning online direct from the post office shop a couple of " Post-Paks..." Some people are truly a Godsend...

...

Strange thing really, they had talked of it being installed somewhere close to our parkhome, if their had of been a defibrillator installed just maybe my Richard would be here today, i-we, shall never know the answer to that question, too late for Richard yet it was a late morning-mid day that i found him dead in his armchair soon after his drive home taking the dog to the pet groomer...if only my neighbour who I frantically called out the front door for anyone to help me , he was the one who tried resuscitation on Richards chest until the first-aid'ers arrived, if we had had an on site defibrillator, he wouldn't have had far to have gone to get it...

Sadly Jackie people are quick to bolt the door once the horse as bolted as they say. I also know that even if I had been here when Gary collapsed CPR or the defibrillator would not have helped due to the damage to his heart. That is a small consolation to me as I am a trained first aider so would have been able to help - or I think I could. As you say you will never know and nor will I but at least they would not have suffered. It is the ones they leave behind that suffer. But I am guessing the 'committee' feel really guilty that they did not agree to it before.

How nice and refreshing therefore is the action of the person that is collecting you on Monday. There are good people out there and some come forward. Though they are never keen to boast so it is up to others to recognise them.

xx

Jackie I too found out my true friends after Alan passed away, another friend of mine summed them up exactly.... frenemies. And that is what they have all become. Whilst I was always there for these now called 'frenemies'. They were no where to be seen when I needed skne support. All far too busy with their own lives. Really brings the true meaning of 'life goes on'.... as far as I now see..... it only goes on for others.... life doesn't go on for us... the bereaved and grieving for their husbands/wives/partners.

It is a wonderful gesture from your neighbour to help you the best way they can. Others are so insensitive to what help and support we need ☆ truly hope you find genuine peace and support soon ☆

Some people are so wrapped up in their own world they cannot see beyond their own boundaries. I know it is not relevant today but in my gran's day, everyone rallied round, the mining community my gran lived in was a caring community and always looked out for everyone. Today.... sadly it is self preservation.

Sorry for my soapbox... usually climb on it on Thursdays for some reason.

Blessings dear friend
Jen☆

Jen...
...the person-man-chairman of the disabled society does not live on my parkhome site, he is going out of his way to come to collect me, now that is what I call a true gentleman...
There is no one from my site that is offering me an ounce of help, nor popping in to see me...well tell a lie, the lady from across the way is taking my weekly bin to the edge of the road-path-curb for the dustmen, as we have 4-5 or 6 different bins and I have no clues as to which ones are put out this week or next week, but I still have to venture a fair walk myself to take out the varying rubbishes, rubbish-recycling-glass bottles...with my MS i usually have to gather my rollator and do this in a couple of trips...

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