Week today.

Sitting here crying with the TV on a different channel to last Sunday.
I can't stand to watch the same programmes that were on last Sunday, when my partner started to complain of stomach pain.
From there everything spiralled out of control until he finally died tended by the ambulance service but not me.
Today I had to look calm and as though I was coping for my poor son who is devastated at the loss and had to travel back to work miles away, underneath I wanted to weep, scream and shout.
Thank you all out there for your support to date.
Hugs to you all.

Oh 12remember, I am so sorry for your loss. It all sounds absolutely awful and it will take a while for the shock and disbelief to subside. My lovely husband died at the end of November and I still feel in shock and cannot believe he is not coming home. He had been diagnosed with cancer less than 6 weeks before but died of a blood clot suddenly one morning. He had been admitted to hospital 2 days earlier because he was so breathless, but there was no indication that he was going to die and I sadly was not with him, something which I will struggle with forever. I find it difficult to concentrate on TV at the moment, but also cannot watch anything we would have watched together. He liked detective type programmes such as Luther, Vera etc. He would be appalled at what I am now watching, which is anything which is mundane and does not take a lot of concentrating on. I found the first week after George's death particularly hard as I kept thinking of what we were doing one week earlier and had lots of what ifs. You have nearly got through that first week. Sadly there is no way out of this sad situation we now find ourselves in, but we are all here to support you. I will be thinking of you xx

Thank you so very much Debra 27 having support through this site makes me feel less alone.
My son has left his two small dogs here for me to care for. The one hurtled into the room where he usually leapt onto my partner's lap after arriving and just stopped in his tracks as he realised the person who made such a fuss of him wasn't there.
I could have wept but thought stay strong for my son.

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